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TBI – Survivors, Caregivers, Family, and Friends

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TBI Tales . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Caregivers, We Appreciate You

Caregiver’s We Appreciate You

Penny Byler

Penny Byler – Brain Injury Survivor

For the caregivers and families of us survivors, I know there is so much you can never understand about what we live with every day. But, please know that all you do is noticed and appreciated. Sometimes, we just don’t have the words to let you know that we understand that, on the day our life as we knew it completely ended, you also lost someone.

caregiver-supports-clipart-1 Most of you never had the chance to mourn the loss of the loved one you knew because you were too busy helping this “new” person fit in where your dreams for your loved one left off. Although we don’t always show it, your kindness, love, support, and acceptance are noticed and appreciated. Thank you for never giving up on us. You help us know we can continue. We may not have the words to use when we need them, but you will see it in our eyes, by a touch of the hand, or when we smile.

You are a very important part of our recovery. You are noticed. You are appreciated.

As I say after each post: Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

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TBI Tales

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Survivors SPEAK OUT! Jordan Emerson

Survivors SPEAK OUT! Jordan Emerson

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Jordan Emerson – Brain Injury Survivor – Race Car Driver

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Jordan Emerson

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email (optional)

Windham, Maine, USA

3. On what date did you have your brain injury? At what age?

I had my brain injury at 13 years young.

4. How did your brain injury occur?dan Emerson

Jordan Emerson – Brain Injury Survivor – Race Car Driver

I was driving a fully-safety-equipped racecar.

5. When did you (or someone) first realize you had a problem?

When I was unconscious

6. What kind of emergency treatment, if any, did you have?

I was given a trach. I had emergency procedures for a cracked left hip, brain stem, seizures, a crushed left arm, paralyzed vocal chords, and paralyzed stomach.

7. Were you in a coma? If so, how long?

Jordan Emerson – Brain Injury Survivor

Yes. Almost 3 months

8. Did you do rehab? What kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient or outpatient and occupational and/or physical and/or speech and/or other)?

I have occupational and physical therapies as an outpatient. I was also helped by a speech-language pathologist.

How long were you in rehab?

I’m still attending OT and PT as an outpatient.

9. What problems or disabilities, if any, resulted from your brain injury (e.g., balance, perception, personality, etc.)?

I still have awful trouble going to the bathroom. Being in crowded areas makes me tired. (It’s “overstimulation,” but instead of overstimulation, it feels like a “draining of my energy.”)

10. How has your life changed? Is it better? Is it worse?

My life is neither better nor worse. It’s just different.

11. What do you miss the most from your pre-brain-injury life?

I miss being able to run around outside with my dogs.

12. What do you enjoy most in your post-brain-injury life?

I like that everybody seems to offer to help more often.

13. What do you like least about your brain injury?

I dislike that I’ll be thinking so hard about something, and then, *poof* it’s gone.

14. Has anything helped you to accept your brain injury?

Talking with other survivors has helped.

15. Has your injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

Before I developed a filter, I said things to friends, and over time, those friends disappeared.

16. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

Yes. I have lost friends. friends

17. Who is your main caregiver? Do you understand what it takes to be a caregiver?

My mom is my main caregiver. I’m thankful for her every day.

18. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

I plan to be driving, living in my own apartment, married, etc.

19. Are you able to provide a helpful hint that may have taken you a long time to learn, but which you wished you had known earlier? If so, please state what it is to potentially help other survivors with your specific kind of brain injury.

Hard work really does pay off.

20. What advice would you offer to other brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

Jordan Emerson – Brain Injury Survivor and Mom & Dad

I owe a lot of my journey to my loving parents – I couldn’t have done this without them. I ♡ them!
Please feel free to reach out to me (#Believe). I enjoy helping whenever I am able. Believe!

(Disclaimer: The views or opinions in this post are solely that of the interviewee.)

If you would like to be a part of the SPEAK OUT! project, please go to TBI SPEAK OUT! Survivors Interview Questionnaire for a copy of the questions and the release form.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

As I say after each post: Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it with your enemies. I don’t care!

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Survivors SPEAK OUT!

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TBI Tales . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Smiling is Contagious . . . . . . Smile, Harry, Smile!

Smiling is Contagious – Smile, Harry, Smile!

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Harry Jordan – Brain Injury Survivor – in Gym

Recently I published Harry Jordan‘s “Itty-Bitty GIANT Step” and a great photo of a smiling Harry on my blog. Afterwards, we exchanged messages by Private Message on Facebook. I told him that I loved his smile. However, he told me that he rarely smiles and that his mother would be shocked to see this smiling photo of him.

Well, that was enough incentive for me to challenge Harry. I told him I would publish his smiling photos on my blog if he would send me five more. He did – including one of him AND his mom.

smile

Harry Jordan – Brain Injury Survivor & his Mom

You can read our chat below.

Donna: I just love your smile.

Harry: I really don’t smile. My mom will be shocked.

Donna: Why will she be shocked?

Harry: ‘Cause I don’t smile.

Donna: Well, you SHOULD every minute. You smile with your eyes.

Harry: I don’t look at my pics – always mean – no real reason to smile.

Donna: Well, look at this pic, and maybe you can see a reason to smile.

Harry: I will try.

Donna: It made me smile, and it’s contagious. See how many people you can affect. Start with your mom.

Harry: If it can help ANYONE, I will smile.

Harry Jordan – Brain Injury Survivor – Smile, Harry, Smile

Donna: Well, it helped ME!!!!! Pick your mom up and hug her and give her a BIG smile. Then let me know what she said.

Harry: And for that I will smile.

Donna: See … it’s working! Send me five NEW photos of you smiling, and I will publish them. Challenge is on.

Harry: Ha! Ha! Ha! Dang, now THAT is a challenge.

Did you know that smiling really is contagious? How many times have you walked down the street or through a store and someone, a stranger, smiled at you. What did you do? Chances are you smiled right back. It’s almost an automatic reaction. Did you know that smiling is healthy for you? It is! It releases neurotransmitters, like endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine. These hormones are produced in the brain and can help to relieve stress and lower blood pressure. Whoever thought that a smile could be your best medicine? Well, it’s certainly worth a try.

Harry Jordan – Brain Injury Survivor & Friend

So, as we so often hear, “Turn that frown upside down!” and see how much better you feel. Harry did! Just look at all the photos of his wonderful smile. He makes me smile, and I hope he does you, too.

Harry Jordan – Brain Injury Survivor

Harry Jordan – Brain Injury Survivor & Cousins

(Disclaimer: The views or opinions in this post are solely that of the author.)

If you have a story to share and would like to be a part of the SPEAK OUT! project, please submit your TBI Tale to me at neelyf@aol.com. I will publish as many stories as I can.

As I say after each post:

Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Please follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the top right sidebar. (It’s nice to know there are readers out there.)

If you like my blog, share it with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it with your enemies. I don’t care!

Feel free to “Like” my post.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

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TBI Tales

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Survivors SPEAK OUT! Bonnie Nish

Survivors SPEAK OUT! Bonnie Nish

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Bonnie Nish – Brain Injury Survivor & author

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Bonnie Nish

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email (optional)

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

3. On what date did you have your brain injury? At what age?

I had two: one in 2012 at age 55 and another in 2013 at age 56.

4. How did your brain injury occur?

For the first one – a child I worked with in a school was using a zip line, and, as he was coming off, he began to lose his balance. I put my head on his back to steady him, and his head came whipping back – the back of his head caught me just above the temple. For the second one, a basketball bounced off the rim and hit me in the same place that the first one did. boy-on-zipline

5. When did you (or someone) first realize you had a problem?

Immediately

6. What kind of emergency treatment, if any, did you have?

At first, I just went to a walk-in clinic, and they told me I should be better by Monday. (It was Friday.) About two weeks later, I couldn’t get two words out without stuttering, so I went to the Emergency Room. They did a CAT (computerized axial tomography) scan and sent me to see a neurologist. That neurologist thought I didn’t have post-concussion syndrome, even though I was stuttering and couldn’t move my right finger from my nose to his finger. The Workmen’s Compensation neuropsychologist disagreed with this and thought I did have it.

7. Were you in a coma? If so, how long?

8. Did you do rehab? What kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient or outpatient and occupational and/or physical and/or speech and/or other)?

I had outpatient therapy as designated by the Workmen’s Compensation Board.

How long were you in rehab?

Four months

9. What problems or disabilities, if any, resulted from your brain injury (e.g., balance, perception, personality, etc.)?

I experience nausea, dizziness, light-sensitivity, loss of appetite, an inability to retain what I read, an inability to write, stuttering, a loss of words, impulsivity, anxiety, and an inability to follow multiple conversations at once. I have a problem with my balance. I lost twenty-five pounds. I have an over-stimulated sense of smell, an inability to play piano and remember what I knew, a loss of executive decision-making skills, a constant buzzing in my head, and concentration problems.

10. How has your life changed? Is it better? Is it worse?

It’s mixed. I still have buzzing in my head all of the time, and it gets louder if I do too much. And, I still have some memory problems. But, I also appreciate my ability to think like never before. I have published two books since my concussions.

Bonnie Nish – Brain Injury Survivor & author

11. What do you miss the most from your pre-brain-injury life?

I miss not hearing buzzing and not feeling anxious.

12. What do you enjoy most in your post-brain-injury life?

I enjoy knowing when I can do things that I couldn’t do while I was in the middle of it all.

13. What do you like least about your brain injury?

I dislike not being able to write or read. That is the scariest thing for me.

14. Has anything helped you to accept your brain injury?

Yes. Time.

15. Has your injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

Yes. My children became my caregivers. That was hard for them, especially for my youngest daughter. It took some time for us to get past my being dependent on her.

16. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

Yes. I don’t go out as much as I used to. I still find it hard to be in large groups and crowds.

17. Who is your main caregiver? Do you understand what it takes to be a caregiver?

My youngest daughter was my main caregiver. Yes, I understand how hard and how demanding it was for her. And how scary.

18. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

I have returned to my academic work. I intend to finish my PhD and teach and write. I would like to get a few more books out. (I am currently working on two.) Also, I hope to live somewhere else in the world for a while.

My advice is to let people around you know that one thing that might happen to you is that you might become very impulsive. It is best if you can get some help with this. Leave your cards at home and only take a certain amount of cash with you. Mention to your friends and family that if they see you buying something you would never normally buy, they might want to question this. I didn’t figure this out until I was in the concussion clinic and heard a few of the guys talking about how impulsive they were. For this reason, they kept only $20 in their pockets. This was after I bought a stationary bike when I couldn’t get it out of my head that I needed it. I also bought five dresses and have worn only two.

Bonnie Nish – Brain Injury Survivor & author

20. What advice would you offer to other brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

This is a hard and difficult journey. You may feel as though you are a different person. You are in some ways. It takes time to grow into this new way of being. Have patience with yourself – the way you would for a dear friend.

To learn more about Bonnie Nish, please visit her website.

To order Bonnie’s book, click here.  “Concussion and Mild Brain Injury: Not Just Another Headline”  

(Disclaimer: The views or opinions in this post are solely that of the interviewee.)

If you would like to be a part of the SPEAK OUT! project, please go to TBI SPEAK OUT! Caregiver Interview Questionnaire for a copy of the questions and the release form.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

As I say after each post: Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it with your enemies. I don’t care!

Feel free to “Like” my post.

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Survivors SPEAK OUT!

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SPEAK OUT! . . . . . . . . . . . . . Faces of Brain Injury . . . . . . . . . Matthew Vickers (survivor)

SPEAK OUT! Faces of Brain Injury – Matthew Vickers (survivor)

presented

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Brain Injury is NOT Discriminating!

bigstock-cartoon-face-vector-people-25671746-e1348136261718 It can happen to anyone, anytime, . . . and anywhere.

The Brain Trauma Foundation states that there are 5.3 million people in the United States living with some form of brain injury.

On “Faces of Brain Injury,” you will meet survivors living with brain injury. I hope that their stories will help you to understand the serious implications and complications of brain injury.

The stories on SPEAK OUT! Faces of Brain Injury are published with the permission of the survivor or designated caregiver.

If you would like your story to be published, please send a short account and two photos to me at neelyf@aol.com. I’d love to publish your story and raise awareness for Brain Injury.

Matthew Vickers – Brain Injury Survivor

Matthew Vickers (survivor)

I was diagnosed with a severe diffuse axonal traumatic brain injury two years ago as the result of a motor-vehicle accident. The car flipped four times, and I was ejected from the vehicle. The result was that I was in a coma for a month, and it was thought that I would remain in a vegetative state. I awoke, and, when I was able, I began rehab, which I matthew-vickers-2 continue to this day. I have completed speech and vision therapies, and I am continuing physical and occupational therapies. Cognitively, I am 100% there, but physically, not so much. Although I am not wheelchair-bound, I have lost the ability to walk from the accident. Through physical therapy, I have progressed to using a cane and a walker. I can walk with minimal assistance a good seventy feet.

Matthew Vickers – Brain Injury Survivor

Going to therapy has been relearning life skills. With determination, I excel. It was thought that if I regained consciousness, I would be a vegetable. I’ve been told I’d never walk again. But, walk I do. Never accept defeat. Never quit.

Thank you Matthew Vickers for sharing your story.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor.)

As I say after each post: Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it intact with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it intact with your enemies. I don’t care!

Feel free to “Like” my post.

Category:

Faces of Brain Injury

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Survivors SPEAK OUT! Kenneth Powell

Survivors SPEAK OUT! Kenneth Powell

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Kenneth Powell – Brain Injury Survivor

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Kenneth Powell

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email (optional)

Saint Louis, Missouri, USA

3. On what date did you have your brain injury? At what age?

2010 I was 42 years of age.

4. How did your brain injury occur?

I’ve had three hemorrhagic strokes on the lower left side of my brain.

5. When did you (or someone) first realize you had a problem?

I fell out of bed after trying to stand up. My (then) girlfriend found me.

6. What kind of emergency treatment, if any, did you have?

The first stroke occurred on April 30, 2010. I knew my name, where I was, and what I was told had happened. Immediately after sleeping that night, the second stroke occurred. I was put into a coma for the next 30 days.

7. Were you in a coma? If so, how long?

Yes. 30 days

8. Did you do rehab? What kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient or outpatient and occupational and/or physical and/or speech and/or other)?

I had occupational, physical, and speech therapies as an inpatient and an outpatient.

9. How long were you in rehab?

One month

10. What problems or disabilities, if any, resulted from your brain injury (e.g., balance, perception, personality, etc.)?

Aphasia, right-side paralysis, complete amnesia

Kenneth Powell – Brain Injury Survivor

11. How has your life changed? Is it better? Is it worse?

My life is challenging.

12. What do you miss the most from your pre-brain-injury life?

I miss running and normal kidney function.

13. What do you enjoy most in your post-brain-injury life?

I enjoy sharing my experience with others and proving mind over matter.

14. What do you like least about your brain injury?

I dislike people’s perceptions of “the disabled.”

15. Has anything helped you to accept your brain injury?

My faith has helped me accept my brain injury.

16. Has your injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

The perceptions about “disabled” or “handicapped” individuals have been a hindrance. Romantic relationships are nearly nonexistent.

17. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

Perceptions about the disabled greatly affect my life.

18. Who is your main caregiver? Do you understand what it takes to be a caregiver?

I am my own main caregiver. I am helped occasionally by my sister.

Kenneth Powell – Brain Injury Survivor

19. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

I hope to be back to work.

20. Are you able to provide a helpful hint that may have taken you a long time to learn, but which you wished you had known earlier? If so, please state what it is to potentially help other survivors with your specific kind of brain injury.

Ask as many questions as possible. Know and interact with as many survivors as you can (via websites, support-groups, etc.).

What advice would you offer to other brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

Personal and spiritual FAITH is essential to the day-to-day survival of this injury.

(Disclaimer: The views or opinions in this post are solely that of the interviewee.)

If you would like to be a part of the SPEAK OUT! project, please go to TBI SPEAK OUT! Caregiver Interview Questionnaire for a copy of the questions and the release form.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

As I say after each post: Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it with your enemies. I don’t care!

Feel free to “Like” my post.

Category:

Survivors SPEAK OUT!

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SPEAK OUT! . . . . . . . . . . Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Itty-Bitty GIant Steps for Blog SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty Giant Steps will provide a venue for brain-injury survivors and caregivers to shout out their accomplishments of the week.

If you have an Itty-Bitty Giant Step and you would like to share it, just send an email to me at neelyf@aol.com.

If you are on Facebook, you can simply send a Private Message to me. It need only be a sentence or two. I’ll gather the accomplishments and post them with your name on my blog approximately once a week. (If you do not want your lastname to be posted, please tell me in your email or Private Message.)

I hope we have millions of Itty-Bitty Giant Steps.

Here is this week’s Itty-Bitty GIANT Step

Harry Jordan – Brain Injury Survivor

Harry Jordan (survivor) … I’ve been blessed with many things in my life, but recently I was in tears. My left foot – on the side I had the stroke on – hasn’t moved since 2009 (pre stroke), but the other day, I was able to push down and move it! I know I’m being so emotional over something so small, but it’s HUGE TO ME! Maybe I am getting better. Maybe.

Simon Limbrick – Brain Injury Survivor

Simon Limbrick (survivor) … It’s been thirty-seven years since my TBI (traumatic brain injury), and I’m now learning that I should not have pulled out of my coma or made all the gains I did. I was determined to bring further improvement to my left eye, which sustained third nerve damage. I was told that I would eventually go blind in it and that I would definitely not be able to move it. In one of my annual eye checks, an optometrist remarked that he had never heard of someone with my condition having the eye improve year after year. In the last twelve months, there has been definite, noticeable vertical movement, as well. My message to others? IT’S NEVER TOO LATE FOR HEALING!

YOU did it!

Congratulations to contributors!

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributors.)

As I say after each post:

Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it intact with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it intact with your enemies. I don’t care!

Feel free to “Like” my post.

Category:

Itty-Bitty GIANT Step

Tagged with:

SPEAK OUT! . . . . . . . . . . Itty-Bitty GIANT Step

SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Itty-Bitty GIant Steps for Blog SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty Giant Steps will provide a venue for brain-injury survivors and caregivers to shout out their accomplishments of the week.

If you have an Itty-Bitty Giant Step and you would like to share it, just send an email to me at neelyf@aol.com.

I hope we have millions of Itty-Bitty Giant Steps.

Here is this week’s Itty-Bitty GIANT Step

Jennifer Stokley (survivor) … I recently met a stranger at my door who was sent to do bug home care. There was no notice, but I let him in to do his work. I asked questions – I had him explain things I needed to know. I have severe anxiety disorder and huge panic attacks. Strangers are a HUGE trigger; letting them into my home is even bigger. I handled it all – no anxiety, no nothing!

YOU did it!

Congratulations to contributors!

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributors.)

As I say after each post:

Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it intact with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it intact with your enemies. I don’t care!

Feel free to “Like” my post.

Category:

Itty-Bitty GIANT Step

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SPEAK OUT! . . . . . . . . . . . . . Guest Blogger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Karen Dickerson

Never Give Up!

Karen Dickerson

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Girl Blogger cartoon_picture_of_girl_writing On March 2^nd, 2014, I was involved in a car accident that changed my life forever. My speech was slurred; I couldn’t read; I couldn’t even write my own name.

Karen Dickerson – Brain Injury Survivor

Two months after my accident, I was so proud to write my name again that I signed divorce papers I couldn’t comprehend. I also signed so that my brain injury wouldn’t be used to take my children away. For fifteen years, I was married – and in an abusive relationship. I had three children, and I was left with nothing. Not even child support. I had lived a fairly comfortable life, financially speaking. I just wanted out and couldn’t take the confusion of court proceedings, but yet I couldn’t understand why. Everyone said I looked “normal.”

I struggled to feed my children. I swallowed my pride even when I was standing in line at a food pantry. I walked dragging my left leg to my speech, physical, and occupational therapy sessions, thinking that my leg problem would just go away in a few weeks. A friend helped me buy a car with what little money I had. I spent a few cold nights sleeping in it, confused as to where I was, what I was doing, and when my next appointments were. I’d yell at anyone who crossed my path – losing friendships. Family left me all alone. I fought with my auto insurance company for my rights in a no-fault state, and, after several months, I finally received compensation for wage losses.

I’m not sure how it happened (as things are a complete blur at times), but I finally found a good doctor and a nurse case-manager to help me. I was put into a neuro rehab program an hour away from home. (I had to let my children go live with their dad.) Seven days a week, I learned basic living skills and tried to control my anger and frustrations and emotional outbursts. I had constant legal issues, as I was beginning to realize that what I had signed in my divorce was not what I thought. The settlement was not good for me. As a result, I had to fight for my children and for child support. After a few battles, I won their support! After getting through those struggles, I finally realized I needed to take this TBI (traumatic brain injury) head on and fight to get my life back. counsleing

I was angry that I couldn’t do the simple things a child could do, and I was frustrated that I had tested intellectually as lower than high-school level. As hard as it was, I learned coping skills to control my damaged frontal lobe and to try to focus. After my rehab program ended, I moved back home to be with my children. I went to all my therapies (three times a week) and to numerous tests and doctors. I got my kids to and from school every day. I learned how to cook again. After almost two years, I was finally beginning to live a somewhat normal life again. I was even able to meet a wonderful, humble, and understanding man. What were the chances that his own brother-in-law had a TBI? The new man in my life knew exactly what I was going through and accepted my flaws and deficits.

I then started to get interested in learning about this misunderstood injury. I attended the BIAMI (Brain Injury Association of Michigan) meetings in Lansing, Michigan. Using social media as a tool, I advocated and educated others. Hearing good vibes from all over the country and the world, I began to realize how many people just like me were out there. I had to do something about brain injury, as I was so misunderstood and I was tired of being called “crazy.”

I began to excel in all my therapies, which moved me into vocational training. I was asked to put my résumé together. I did – I looked at it and saw that I never had the opportunity to go to college. I was a single mom at nineteen, and I married someone who wouldn’t allow me to grow. I could have gone back to real estate, but how was that helping people? I could have returned to the ophthalmology career that I had for years, but I was limited by the small area I live in. I had already worked for the one surgeon, but he told me that he didn’t trust me with his patients anymore because of my TBI.

As hard as occupational therapy was for me, it was also fun. I gained friendships with my occupational and speech therapists. Even if I couldn’t do their tasks that day, they were still there for me to talk. They comforted me and encouraged me to keep on going. I looked into the OTA (occupational therapy assistant) program and thought Why not see if I can try it? With my disability, there should be some accommodations, and, after what I’ve been through with so many occupational therapy sessions, I thought I might just know a little about it!

I took the test and was accepted to Baker College! (Two years and five months post TBI.) I went to orientation yesterday and teared up as I walked on campus.

Karen Dickerson – Brain Injury Survivor & College Student at Baker College

As I sat in a loud room with others picking their classes, I struggled to drown out the noise, as audio is still a daily struggle. The abbreviations and so much on the class schedule – even with military times, were problematic. I thought for one second I can’t do this. Then I remembered all those times I did “do it,” and I focused and got my class schedule done. At 39 years old, a TBI survivor, a domestic-abuse survivor, and a mother of three, I am a college student!

This program is offered near Grand Rapids, Michigan, over three hours away. As I checked in, I met the president of the college, and he noted where I was living. All I could say was, “I’m going to do this.” It is in my heart. God has gotten me this far. I will NOT give up!

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Survivors SPEAK OUT! Shelly Millsap

presented

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Shelly Rupert Millsap – Brain Injury Survivor

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Shelly Millsap

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email (optional)

Glendale, Arizona, USA

3. On what date did you have your brain injury? At what age?

My brain injury happened on January 17, 2013. I was 46.

4. How did your brain injury occur?

I was in a freak accident at home – a bottle of homemade ginger ale exploded in my face. dcredykoi

5. When did you (or someone) first realize you had a problem?

I realized I had a problem approximately 1-2 weeks after my accident.

6. What kind of emergency treatment, if any, did you have?

I was taken to the Emergency Room for CT (computerized tomography) scan.

7. Were you in a coma? If so, how long?

I was knocked unconscious for about twenty minutes.

8. Did you do rehab? What kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient or outpatient and occupational and/or physical and/or speech and/or other)?

I had to do rehab to relearn to walk correctly and talk correctly. I still do home therapy – I’m trying to regain abilities for a lot of things that I once could do easily and now cannot.

How long were you in rehab?

A few months

9. What problems or disabilities, if any, resulted from your brain injury (e.g., balance, perception, personality, etc.)?

gg61447820 I have severe PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and cannot be around loud noises or big crowds. I have issues with being in new environments. I tire very easily. I don’t understand people when they talk too quickly. I can’t remember new information very easily. I get lost easily or become disoriented. I have balance issues. I have a bit of anger inside that wasn’t there before … the list goes on and on.

10. How has your life changed? Is it better? Is it worse?

I can’t say that my life is better, but I refuse to say that it is worse. It is a work in progress. Life is full of ups and downs. I have always been a person who likes to take care of people. It is hard for me to let anyone take care of me. My life has changed in the mere fact that I need help with certain things … I used to be very independent. I still am, but I know that I have limitations now.

11. What do you miss the most from your pre-brain-injury life?

I miss being out-and-about without worrying that the noise will be too much or that I’ll be in a situation that will mentally paralyze me. I miss the ability to get into my car and know that I can drive myself anywhere I want to go.

12. What do you enjoy most in your post-brain-injury life?

I enjoy seeing the changes that have happened to my immediate family. They have become more compassionate. large_familylovetitle

13. What do you like least about your brain injury?

I dislike my new limitations and the loss of who I once was intellectually.

14. Has anything helped you to accept your brain injury?

God. I’ve always had a strong faith, and I know that God isn’t looking down and laughing at me. This didn’t happen because of some sick joke. God is going to use me and my experience to help someone else. I believe that we all have the choice to have a good day or a bad day. When I wake up, I choose to have a good one. There are things that come into my path at times that aren’t always pleasant, but I try to not focus too much on that and move on.

15. Has your injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

Yes. I have friends who have a hard time with this and really don’t call or communicate much anymore. I understand. It’s hard for some people. I don’t worry myself too much about what is out of my control with people who don’t understand. I just try to focus on the people who are still around and cherish them.

16. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

I can’t go out a lot because of the noise. I don’t handle situations very well when I don’t know what is going to happen. I can’t be spontaneous. I have a hard time going to movies because of the noise. It’s hard going out to eat at times. But I do get together with my good friends a lot.

17. Who is your main caregiver? Do you understand what it takes to be a caregiver?

Shelly Rupert Millsap – Brain Injury Survivor
Bob Millsap – Caregiver

My main caregiver is ME … with some help from my husband.

18. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

I’m not sure. It’s hard for me to look that far into the future. So many things have changed in my life that I kind of take it day to day. My main goal in life is to help people, and I plan on continuing to do that. I think that we should all give more than we take from this world. That is how I live my life. I’m not a “people-pleaser.” I could care less sometimes if I please someone. I hate that term. I do things because they need to be done. I just try to treat people the way that I want to be treated.

Gosh, that is a hard one. I am tired and can’t think of anything right now.

20. What advice would you offer to other brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

No matter what your circumstance, there is always someone else out there who probably has it worse. If you are having a bad day and are feeling hopeless, remember that tomorrow is just around the corner and that most likely it will be a better day. You can pick yourself up and make the most out of what you still have. Life is a precious thing. Live it, love it, and be around people who love you as you are.

NOTE:

Shelly is a contributing author on”Surviving Brain Injury: Stories of Strength and Inspiration,” which will be available in mid November 2016. You can order the book by clicking the title. The book includes stories from about 80 brain injury survivors or caregivers.

If you would like to be a part of the SPEAK OUT! project, please go to TBI Survivor Interview Questionnaire for a copy of the questions and the release form.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor.)

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