TBI – Survivors, Caregivers, Family, and Friends

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Survivors SPEAK OUT! . . . . . Steven A. Marderosian

Survivors SPEAK OUT! Steven A. Marderosian

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

 

Steven A. Marderosian Before TBI 20190429_120335

Survivor – Steven A. Marderosian Pre-TBI

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Steven A. Marderosian

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email (optional)

Barrington, Illinois, USA; E-mail: steven@marderosianlaw.com

3. On what date did you have your brain injury? At what age?

February 28, 2018; I was 49 years old.

4. How did your brain injury occur?

AVM (arteriovenous malformation) rupture – hemorrhagic stroke

5. When did you (or someone) first realize you had a problem?

My wife heard me sounding confused while talking to someone on my phone. Later she saw me looking at my phone as if I didn’t know what it was or how it worked. Then I started to notice my left arm going numb, and then, my left leg. I tried to “walk it off,” but I crashed to the floor.

6. What kind of emergency treatment, if any, did you have?EmergencyRoom

My wife raced me to the Emergency Room, where I triggered a “stroke alert” response. I recall only the very start of it. My wife was kept outside a curtain, so I don’t know any of the details before I stabilized.

7. Were you in a coma? If so, how long?

By the grace of God, no

8. Did you do rehab? What kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient or outpatient and occupational and/or physical and/or speech and/or other)? How long were you in rehab?

Towards end of two weeks in the Intensive Care Unit/neurology (and removal of my AVM by rare cross-craniotomy brain surgery), I had physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy evaluations in the regular hospital. I spent two more weeks in a rehab hospital for physical, occupational, and speech therapies. I then moved home with six more weeks of physical therapy and occupational therapy in a partial admission “day rehab” at the same rehab hospital. My total was more than two months of rehab.

9. What problems or disabilities, if any, resulted from your brain injury
(e.g., balance, perception, personality, etc.)?

My left side was paralyzed from the shoulders down – it was near total from the ribcage down. (I had no balance – I couldn’t stay up on all fours.) My left shoulder/arm/hand was moderately impaired. I have no real cognitive deficits per se, but my mental processing is disabled in high-level speed and volume capacity. My AVM was at the border of the frontal and parietal lobes, bleeding into the frontal lobe in the right hemisphere. It fractured me emotionally.

10. How has your life changed? Is it better? Is it worse?

surfer-boy-clipart-1It’s a mixed bag. I got up on a board and surfed just three months “post op” (against a “no contact sports” order). I’m physically stronger and even faster than I was pre TBI. But, my mental processing speed and capacity are still disabled. A bipolar diagnosis a few years pre TBI (likely due to progressive blood flow abnormality) appears to have been rectified by the AVM removal. But, while my mood is more stable, I still struggle to figure out my new personality. My general emotional state is different and strange.

11. What do you miss the most from your pre-brain-injury life?

I miss the lightning-fast mental processing and the seemingly limitless volume capacity. I miss not having to relearn every maneuver in black belt karate and fighting, downhill (telemark) skiing, and all other physically demanding things I’d been doing. I miss the 6-6.5 hours of sleep per night without ever napping or feeling tired.

12. What do you enjoy most in your post-brain-injury life?

I like that I care about the real suffering in the world (i.e., not my own, by comparison), in the midst of which I lived and rehabbed. I like having a far more stable mood and seemingly being cured of bipolar disorder. I’m looking forward to this second chance to fix past mistakes and live as God wants me to. And to never, ever, fear anything in the world again – other than God.

13. What do you like least about your brain injury?

I dislike needing way too much sleep and always being tired no matter what I do or don’t tired-clipart-they-7do. I don’t like figuring out my new altered personality, my future career, and even my likes and dislikes. I don’t like having to relearn every advanced physical maneuver and regaining my previous mental processing speed and volume capacity.

14. Has anything helped you to accept your brain injury?

I have been greatly helped by my undying (and now bulletproof) faith in Jesus Christ; by my eldest son, who is bipolar (now I want him scanned for an AVM too) and is the only one in my family who understands my continuing emotional turmoil; and by the support of my close friends in Christ and by my BFF of 45 years.

15. Has your injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

I look, speak, and act “fine,” so family (except my eldest son) and others don’t really understand my continuing emotional turmoil and new personality. So, I keep my inner feelings mostly to myself (and to my BFF, to my eldest son, to my bible study group, and to my therapist).

16. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

I was kind of a homebody before, so my social life is not much different. But, busy, noisyno-noise-clipart-1 places, like crowded restaurants, create a sensory overload that can become overwhelming, especially after high-stress or high-volume days. It’s like I can hear every individual sound of 100 people, intercoms, TVs, and devices all blaring at once. I just want to scream, “Will everyone please just shut the f#@k up!?”

17. Who is your main caregiver? Do you understand what it takes to be a caregiver?

I’m so undeservedly blessed that I don’t have or need a caregiver anymore. My wife had to do it for the first few months after I moved back home, but I’ve been mostly on my own since then. My “emotional caregivers” are probably my BFF, my eldest son, my bible study group, and my therapist.

18. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

I can’t tolerate the blatant dishonesty and BS involved in practicing law anymore (especially litigation, where it’s the worst) – not my own, but that of others who simply “double down” when I catch them and call them out. Far too many “judges” seem even worse than the lawyers. My BFF and I have done construction rehab work, and we just launched a demolition and construction company. In ten years, I hope it will be my main source of income, with my eldest son working with us and me taking only select legal work “on the side” (which sounds like Heaven). I wrote a book on God’s miracles in m

Steven A. Marderosian After TBI 20190429_113920

Survivor – Steven A. Marderosian Post-TBI

y experience. I hope to write more and to speak to inspire and help others overcome their crises and follow Jesus Christ.

19. Are you able to provide a helpful hint that may have taken you a long time to learn, but which you wished you had known earlier? If so, please state what it is to potentially help other survivors with your specific kind of brain injury.

Don’t try to force yourself back into who you were; you simply aren’t that person anymore and never will be again. I always say that as well as I’m doing now, “everything is different” somehow. Embrace who you’ve become and the power your experience and resilience have given you to overcome any obstacle. And, help others do the same.

20. What advice would you offer to other brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

Thank God constantly for every breath you take; every blessing you have; and even every challenge, setback, and outright sorrow you experience. All these things work together to achieve God’s will to make you stronger and better as the person He wants you to be. And never, ever, sweat the “small stuff” again – life’s just too short.

With all God’s blessings to all survivors everywhere,

Steven A. Marderosian

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor)

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What is your name? (last name optional)

Steven A. Marderosian

Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email (optional)

Barrington, Illinois, USA; E-mail: steven@marderosianlaw.com

On what date did you have your brain injury? At what age?

February 28, 2018; I was 49 years old.

How did your brain injury occur?

AVM (arteriovenous malformation) rupture – hemorrhagic stroke

When did you (or someone) first realize you had a problem?

My wife heard me sounding confused while talking to someone on my phone. Later she saw me looking at my phone as if I didn’t know what it was or how it worked. Then I started to notice my left arm going numb, and then, my left leg. I tried to “walk it off,” but I crashed to the floor.

What kind of emergency treatment, if any, did you have?

My wife raced me to the Emergency Room, where I triggered a “stroke alert” response. I recall only the very start of it. My wife was kept outside a curtain, so I don’t know any of the details before I stabilized.

Were you in a coma? If so, how long?

By the grace of God, no

Did you do rehab? What kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient or outpatient and occupational and/or physical and/or speech and/or other)? How long were you in rehab?

Towards end of two weeks in the Intensive Care Unit/neurology (and removal of my AVM by rare cross-craniotomy brain surgery), I had physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy evaluations in the regular hospital. I spent two more weeks in a rehab hospital for physical, occupational, and speech therapies. I then moved home with six more weeks of physical therapy and occupational therapy in a partial admission “day rehab” at the same rehab hospital. My total was more than two months of rehab.

What problems or disabilities, if any, resulted from your brain injury
(e.g., balance, perception, personality, etc.)?

My left side was paralyzed from the shoulders down – it was near total from the ribcage down. (I had no balance – I couldn’t stay up on all fours.) My left shoulder/arm/hand was moderately impaired. I have no real cognitive deficits per se, but my mental processing is disabled in high-level speed and volume capacity. My AVM was at the border of the frontal and parietal lobes, bleeding into the frontal lobe in the right hemisphere. It fractured me emotionally.

How has your life changed? Is it better? Is it worse?

It’s a mixed bag. I got up on a board and surfed just three months “post op” (against a “no contact sports” order). I’m physically stronger and even faster than I was pre TBI. But, my mental processing speed and capacity are still disabled. A bipolar diagnosis a few years pre TBI (likely due to progressive blood flow abnormality) appears to have been rectified by the AVM removal. But, while my mood is more stable, I still struggle to figure out my new personality. My general emotional state is different and strange.

What do you miss the most from your pre-brain-injury life?

I miss the lightning-fast mental processing and the seemingly limitless volume capacity. I miss not having to relearn every maneuver in black belt karate and fighting, downhill (telemark) skiing, and all other physically demanding things I’d been doing. I miss the 6-6.5 hours of sleep per night without ever napping or feeling tired.

What do you enjoy most in your post-brain-injury life?

I like that I care about the real suffering in the world (i.e., not my own, by comparison), in the midst of which I lived and rehabbed. I like having a far more stable mood and seemingly being cured of bipolar disorder. I’m looking forward to this second chance to fix past mistakes and live as God wants me to. And to never, ever, fear anything in the world again – other than God.

What do you like least about your brain injury?

I dislike needing way too much sleep and always being tired no matter what I do or don’t do. I don’t like figuring out my new altered personality, my future career, and even my likes and dislikes. I don’t like having to relearn every advanced physical maneuver and regaining my previous mental processing speed and volume capacity.

Has anything helped you to accept your brain injury?

I have been greatly helped by my undying (and now bulletproof) faith in Jesus Christ; by my eldest son, who is bipolar (now I want him scanned for an AVM too) and is the only one in my family who understands my continuing emotional turmoil; and by the support of my close friends in Christ and by my BFF of 45 years.

Has your injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

I look, speak, and act “fine,” so family (except my eldest son) and others don’t really understand my continuing emotional turmoil and new personality. So, I keep my inner feelings mostly to myself (and to my BFF, to my eldest son, to my bible study group, and to my therapist).

Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

I was kind of a homebody before, so my social life is not much different. But, busy, noisy places, like crowded restaurants, create a sensory overload that can become overwhelming, especially after high-stress or high-volume days. It’s like I can hear every individual sound of 100 people, intercoms, TVs, and devices all blaring at once. I just want to scream, “Will everyone please just shut the f#@k up!?”

Who is your main caregiver? Do you understand what it takes to be a caregiver?

I’m so undeservedly blessed that I don’t have or need a caregiver anymore. My wife had to do it for the first few months after I moved back home, but I’ve been mostly on my own since then. My “emotional caregivers” are probably my BFF, my eldest son, my bible study group, and my therapist.

What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

I can’t tolerate the blatant dishonesty and BS involved in practicing law anymore (especially litigation, where it’s the worst) – not my own, but that of others who simply “double down” when I catch them and call them out. Far too many “judges” seem even worse than the lawyers. My BFF and I have done construction rehab work, and we just launched a demolition and construction company. In ten years, I hope it will be my main source of oncome, with my eldest son working with us and me taking only select legal work “on the side” (which sounds like Heaven). I wrote a book on God’s miracles in my experience. I hope to write more and to speak to inspire and help others overcome their crises and follow Jesus Christ.

Are you able to provide a helpful hint that may have taken you a long time to learn, but which you wished you had known earlier? If so, please state what it is to potentially help other survivors with your specific kind of brain injury.

Don’t try to force yourself back into who you were; you simply aren’t that person anymore and never will be again. I always say that as well as I’m doing now, “everything is different” somehow. Embrace who you’ve become and the power your experience and resilience have given you to overcome any obstacle. And, help others do the same.

What advice would you offer to other brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

Thank God constantly for every breath you take; every blessing you have; and even every challenge, setback, and outright sorrow you experience. All these things work together to achieve God’s will to make you stronger and better as the person He wants you to be. And never, ever, sweat the “small stuff” again – life’s just too short.

 

With all God’s blessings to all survivors everywhere,

Steven A. Marderosian

 

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Survivors SPEAK OUT! Courtney Clark

Survivors SPEAK OUT! Courtney Clark

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

 

Courtney Clark Photo 2

Courtney Clark – survivor of Brain Injury & Motivational Speaker

 

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Courtney Clark

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email (optional)

Austin, Texas, USA

3. On what date did you have your brain injury? At what age?

In the spring of 2011, at age 31, I discovered I had an AVM (arteriovenous malformation).

4. How did your brain injury occur?

An AVM is a congenital birth defect of the blood vessels. I actually had no symptoms and no warning signs, but I had been living with it for 31 years when doctors found it.

5. When did you (or someone) first realize you had a problem?

My oncologist actually found my AVM at my 5-year cancer-free scans! Because I didn’t have any symptoms (usually symptoms are headaches and seizures), I had no idea that I had it. I also learned that three aneurysms were within the AVM. Any one could have ruptured at any time.brain-20clip-20art-brain4

6. What kind of emergency treatment, if any, did you have?

I flew to New York to be seen by one of the top neurosurgeons I could find. I had three brain surgeries.

7. Were you in a coma? If so, how long?

I wasn’t in a coma. I woke up from surgery the first day, but I struggled with consciousness for almost two weeks.

8. Did you do rehab? What kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient or outpatient and occupational and/or physical and/or speech and/or other)? How long were you in rehab?

I didn’t have to do rehab, but I did have to teach myself how to read again over the course of about a month because I really struggled with comprehension.

9. What problems or disabilities, if any, resulted from your brain injury
(e.g., balance, perception, personality, etc.)?

visionThe main issues I struggled with right away were visual issues. I had a problem with depth perception, and, because of that, I couldn’t walk for several days – I could only walk a few steps at a time. For the next several months, I also had to work on reading and anything else that required visual comprehension.

10. How has your life changed? Is it better? Is it worse?

My life the first year was painful. I was running a small nonprofit out of my home, and I found that I could barely stay awake long enough to do any work. I felt completely helpless. (I couldn’t even take myself to the bathroom.) Now, I’d say my overall life is better – going through this with a supportive husband by my side has shown me I chose the right partner (the second time around). Also, I have even more perspective on life.

11. What do you miss the most from your pre-brain-injury life?

Yoga! I am NOT a natural athlete like everyone in my family. But, in yoga, I had mastered the headstand. I could do not one but two cool headstands! I felt like a rock-star athlete for the first time in my life! When my neurosurgeon told me that I could no longer do Yoga th-1headstands (it sounds obvious now but caught me completely off guard at the time), it was the first time I really, truly wept. Like, I’ve been through so much, and now I can’t even do this ONE THING that brings me so much joy and makes me feel like a beast!

In a larger sense, I also miss that feeling of immortality that we all have when we’re young – when we think nothing bad could ever happen to us.

12. What do you enjoy most in your post-brain-injury life?

I’m so much more appreciative of my husband, my loved ones, and my life! Because of everything I’ve been through, I now get to research, write, and speak on resilience, and I love traveling the world to get to help other people.

13. What do you like least about your brain injury?

These days, nothing!

14. Has anything helped you to accept your brain injury?

One of the main things that helped me was volunteering and giving back to other people. (It’s a strategy I ALWAYS use to help me when I’m struggling with something.) Research shows that volunteering is one of the best ways to get perspective on our struggles.

15. Has your injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

My relationship with my husband, Jamie, has been affected – because I feel 100% certain that I’ve chosen the right life-partner. When I was diagnosed with cancer at 26, my then-husband wasn’t as supportive as I would have liked. The push in the direction to end my marriage was painful, but necessary. Jamie, my second husband, and I hadn’t even been married a year when the AVM was found. I was so worried that having to take care of me – take me to the bathroom, etc. – was going to hurt our new marriage. But, Jamie was, and continues to be, a most-supportive, caring partner.

16. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

I feel very lucky – I didn’t have any long-term changes to my social life. Short-term, yes; but long term, not really. I will say that, after my surgeries, I have a “life is short” feeling – I don’t put up with a lot of BS or unkindness from friends.

17. Who is your main caregiver? Do you understand what it takes to be a caregiver?

Image result for Free Cartoon Clip Art love life

My husband was my main caregiver. I don’t know if anyone can totally “get it” until he or she has been through it, but I always say that in some ways it’s almost harder to be the loved one than the patient. It was especially difficult for Jamie to deal with me because I had experienced the world of cancer also! Jamie didn’t always get to be the one to choose the treatment plan, but he had to just go along with whatever I chose. And, I got wheeled away, and I slept through the 10-hour surgery, but my husband was awake, pacing the floor the whole time!

18. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

Ten years from now, I want to continue traveling and speaking to groups to help them gain resilience and handle change and challenge.

19. Are you able to provide a helpful hint that may have taken you a long time to learn, but which you wished you had known earlier? If so, please state what it is to potentially help other survivors with your specific kind of brain injury.

My biggest helpful hint is that helping someone else is a tool that EVERYONE can use. So often, we think that, if we’re struggling, we have nothing to give. And, we may feel drained, exhausted, or like “Why do I need to help somebody else? I’m still getting help?” or “How could I even help someone, with my life the way that it is?” But, giving doesn’t have to be directed downward – to someone less fortunate. When I was sick the first time, I kept up with my volunteer activities, and I found that it gave me a sense of personal power and accomplishment, even when I didn’t feel like I was accomplishing much in my everyday life.

20. What advice would you offer to other brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

My best advice is that healing and recovering from a brain injury isn’t a linear process. Before your brain injury, maybe you were like me: go-go-go, getting everything done, climbing the ladder, all about success. You can’t just “bounce back” after something like this. It’s a long, slow trudge, which our society doesn’t glamorize. But, the slow journey is really the only option, and that’s not all bad. It’s an opportunity to reprioritize and savor the smaller things (which I used to ignore).

 

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Courtney Clark – Survivor of Brain Injury – will be Keynote Speaker – BIAAZ Rays of Hope Conference – May 17, 2019, Phoenix, Arizona

 

Learn more about Courtney Clark on her website, Courtney Clark – Accelerated Resilience.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

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Caregivers SPEAK OUT! Bill Duwe

Caregivers SPEAK OUT!

Bill Duwe  (caregiver for his son)

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Bill Duwe Caregiver

Bill Duwe – Caregiver for son, Ray

 

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Bill Duwe

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email? (optional)

Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, USA     wduwe@cox.net

3. What is the brain-injury survivor’s relationship to you? How old was the survivor when he/she had the brain injury? What caused your survivor’s brain injury?

I am Ray’s father. He was 34 when he suffered a brain-stem contusion in a motor-vehicle accident.

4. On what date did you begin care for your brain-injury survivor? Were you the main caregiver? Are you now? How old were you when you began care?

Ray was released from the hospital on January 27, 2001. We shared caregiving with his wife until November 2001, when Ray moved to our house. My wife and I have been his main caregivers since November 2001. I was 60 years old.

Bill Duwe Wife & Son Ray IMG_6570 (2)

Bill Duwe and his wife – Caregivers for son, Ray

5. Were you caring for anyone else at that time (e.g., children, parents, etc.)?

No, but my wife’s mother was requiring some assistance. Eventually, we were caring for her and Ray in our home. She passed away in 2007.

6. Were you employed at the time of your survivor’s brain injury? If so, were you able to continue working?

Yes, I was employed. My employer helped by allowing me to work from home a day or two a week. I worked for 2½ more years. Then it seemed better for me to retire.

7. Did you have any help? If so, what kind and for how long?

Absolutely! Currently, I have eighteen volunteers who help with stretching exercises for Ray. I trained these volunteers. We exercise Ray twice a day on a physical therapy table. For seven of those exercise times each week, a volunteer comes to help. Exercise takes about 45 minutes. Some volunteers come once every week; some, twice a month; and some, once every two months – depending on their availability. This does wonders for everyone’s morale – my wife, Ray, the volunteers, and I are all uplifted in spirit.Volunteers

In addition, I employ a nurse for two hours to bathe, give medicines, help dress, and help exercise Ray twice a week. My wife will have knee-replacement surgery next month, so we will employ this nurse two hours a day, six days a week, during my wife’s recovery. Two of Ray’s children will also come to help us during her recovery.

8.When did your support of the survivor begin (e.g., immediately – in the hospital; when the survivor returned home; etc.)?

We received ten days of family training on the rehab floor of the hospital before they released Ray. They trained us in physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, and all daily care. We did most of his care during those ten days.

9.Was your survivor in a coma? If so, what did you do during that time?

Ray was in a deep coma. He did not respond in any way for one month. He partially opened his eyes exactly one month after the injury. We camped in the waiting room day and night. We took turns going home at night for a shower and an occasional night of sleep at home.

10. Did your survivor have rehab? If so, what kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient and/or outpatient and occupational, physical, speech, and/or other)? How long was the rehab? Where were you when your survivor was getting therapy?

Ray received inpatient therapy during the ten days of family training. After he was released from the hospital, we were able to get various periods of outpatient or home-health therapy for a few years. We have always been directly involved in any therapy.

11. What problems or disabilities of your brain-injury survivor required your care, if any?

Ray is a non-verbal quadriplegic. He requires complete 24-hour care. Ray’s ability to communicate is very limited. Frequently he can close his eyes for “Yes.” Sometimes he can shake his head for “No.” Occasionally he can smile, but the heavy doses of seizure medications have dulled his ability to show emotion.

12. How has your life changed since you became a caregiver? Is it better? Is it worse?

There have been significant adjustments to our daily life. We made major accessibility accommodations. We have a wheelchair-van. We built a custom accessible home. I would not say life is better or worse. We learned how to adapt. We travel extensively – road trips and cruises. We are able to do what we want – it just takes extra planning and effort. We enjoy going to church, eating out, etc. Ray goes with us. Many of Ray’s friends have connected with us. Ray’s children are close to Ray and us.

13. What do you miss the most from pre-brain-injury life?

We very much miss the old Ray.

14. What do you enjoy most in post-brain-injury life?

It has provided opportunities to connect with and appreciate Ray’s friends. We enjoy sharing our experiences with other caregivers and friends we make in our travels and with therapy students.

15. What do you like least about brain injury?

The devastation to the survivor and his family

87747316. Has anything helped you to accept your survivor’s brain injury?

Ray’s demeanor indicates he has accepted his injury. Knowing he accepts it helps us accept it.

17. Has your survivor’s injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

Our marriage is strong. Unfortunately, Ray’s marriage did not survive. Ray’s children are close to Ray and ready to help when needed. We may be closer to his children than we would have been otherwise.

18. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

We seldom attend church-class parties in a home because it is difficult, or impossible, to get Ray into most homes. Otherwise, we have an active social life. My wife and I each have social activities we attend individually.

19. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

In ten years, I will be 87. I expect to still be taking care of Ray in our home. I may need more help, but who knows? My health is good. I expect Ray, my wife, and I will be traveling.

20. What advice would you offer other caregivers of brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

  • Make the effort to find support, and work to keep support.
  • Take care of yourself and your life.
  • Remember, you know your survivor’s medical history better than any doctor does. Use your knowledge to help the doctor. (For instance, scar tissue in Ray’s lungs may be misinterpreted as pneumonia on an X-ray.)
41UvDTIGD8L._SX326_BO1,204,203,200_

“We Still Have Him to Love” by Bill Duwe

 

 

I have written a book, “We Still Have Him to Love” by Bill Duwe. I wrote it to help other caregivers. It is available on Amazon.com.

 

 

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TBI Tales . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A Friend? The Need for Better Understanding of Brain Injury

A Friend?
The Need for Better Understanding of Brain Injury
by
Alan Gregory

presented
by
Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Alan Gregory 1

Alan Gregory Brain Injury Survivor

 

I was working at my minimum-wage, 3- to 4-hours-per-day job when an old friend came in. He asked why I was working there and not at my former job. (I had been an accountant at a large manufacturing firm – a job I held for more than 30 years.) I told him I lost my job after I suffered a traumatic brain injury (TBI).

Of course, my friend didn’t know what a TBI was, so I explained it to him. He then assumed I must have been in a car accident. But, when I explained to him that I had slipped on ice and landed on my head, he rolled his eyes and moved on.

I wanted to grab him and tell him, “Yes, it’s true, and it totally messed up my life!”clipart-of-person-slipping-on-ice-7

I deal with my brain injury every day. I struggle with the fact that I can no longer financially support my family. Some days, I have to force myself to get up, after I have bounced around the house all night with my head not allowing me to sleep. I used to have a great, salaried job, at which I usually worked ten hours per day. Now, I can barely work a total of ten hours in a week. Ugh!

I honestly wonder what my friend’s reaction would have been if I had told him that I had a heart attack or a stroke or even cancer. I am sure that his reaction would have been sympathetic and understanding with an offer of “If I can do anything …”

k23633524

A little understanding and compassion go a long way.

Well, I don’t want his sympathy. We have survived these past two years without his help. A simple dose of understanding would have been preferable, rather than the perplexed look, the sudden turn and walk away, or the “Yeah, right” head shake that we survivors of brain injury all too often get from others.

 

 

Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor.)

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SPEAK OUT! NewsBit . . . . . . VOTE for Me! – Caregiver Visionary Award

VOTE for Me! – Caregiver Visionary Award

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

This is just an itty-bitty, tiny-teeny, itsy-bitsy newsletter because I want to share some exciting news with you.

I have been nominated for the “Caregiver Visionary Award,” which will honor five th-1caregivers who stand out in their caregiver world. Now frankly, I think all caregivers deserve this award, but, alas, only five will be chosen, and I hope I am one of them. David thinks I should be too. He nominated me.

I need your help. Only you can make this happen. Here’s how it works. In order to be chosen as one of the top ten finalists, I need votes. Internet votes! That’s it. Pretty easy. All you have to do is click on the link I posted below.

https://www.caregiving.com/ncc19/cva-donna-odonnell-figurski/

Voting ends at Midnight ET on February 25, 2019. So please HURRY!

Scroll to the end of my nomination.
Click on “Cast your vote.”
Takes you to a new page
Lists all nomineesplease-vote
Mark my name, Donna O’Donnell Figurski.
Click “VOTE!

See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

On March 1, 2019, the winners will be announced. You’ll probably know right away because you will hear me squealing and jumping for joy. And now, I am going to cross my fingers until March 1st. pco5aerzi

ashdis kjdihio jsh pogwkp d wyqye. Oops! It’s really hard to type with crossed fingers.

Translation : Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart!

P.S. Phew! Thank goodness that’s done. I hate to ask for things!

 

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

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Past Blast: Mansion Dancing Under the Stars

“TBI Tales: Mansion Dancing Under the Stars”

(originally published April 26, 2014)

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

mansion-at-westport

David and I met on the dance floor when I was 16 years old. He was 17. We fell in love under a strobe light. Through our married years, we danced at weddings and at parties, but when David’s Traumatic Brain Injury left his body as limp as Raggedy Andy, I never dreamed that David and I would ever dance again. But, during a recent trip to Westport, Massachusetts, to spend time with our son, Jared, his fiancé, Emily, and her family, we found ourselves staying in a mansion … only feet from the Atlantic Ocean. Our host, dancers-thSusan, was beyond gracious, concerned about our every comfort. On our second night there, she threw a big family party on her extensive patio and even more expansive grounds overlooking the ocean; and she invited us. We stopped in about midnight.

The partygoers were huddled around the fire-ring … music still blaring. Jared and Emily began to dance on the patio. I swayed. David sat in a tall patio chair. Then the unthinkable happened. David asked me to dance. I hadn’t expected that! David can barely walk – dancing had not been on his radar for more than seven years. I looked at him expectantly. Was he kidding, being facetious? ballroom_dancing_stars_swinging_lg_clrNo! With a huge grin, I answered, “Yes!”

We didn’t Cha-Cha or Swing, as we had learned in our Ballroom Dance classes. We didn’t attempt the Fox Trot, or even the Waltz, though Paula, our dance instructor after David had his TBI (another story), would have been proud of us if we had. But, we did our own dance. We swayed back and forth – never moving our feet. We call it the “TBI Sway.” We swayed with my head resting against David’s shoulder and his hand gently placed at the small of my back. We swayed with David holding on to me for dear life … for balance. We danced under the stars to an old favorite, “Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers, with the sounds of ocean waves lapping the shore, with smiles on our lips, and remembrances of days gone by … and the promise of our days ahead.dance under stars

anim0014-1_e0-1As I say after each post:

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Permission granted to “Reblog” my post.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of ME.)

If you have a story to tell, please contact me at donnaodonnellfigurski@gmail.com

New NEWS: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . New Website for Prisoners without Bars: A Caregiver’s Tale

New NEWS: Prisoners without Bars: A Caregiver’s Tale – New Website

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

I launched a new website dedicated to my Writing Life. It’s simply called, “donna o’donnell figurski – Author.”

Donna Figurski Website Banner

It tells about Me, Me, Me. Who Am I anyway?

You can learn about my books here.

The site includes my online and print publications. You can even find the links to the articles so you can read them right now.

It shares some of my favorite books–both for adult and for children. How many have you read? What’s your favorite?

It lists Praise for Prisoners. Oh MY Gosh — I can’t believe what folks are saying about Prisoners.

Thanks for reading my book, Prisoners without Bar: A Caregiver’s Tale. Did you know that there aren’t many books about brain injury? But, here are a few good ones.Prisoners without Bars

 

As I say after each post: Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Commentanim0014-1_e0-1 below this post.

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