TBI – Survivors, Caregivers, Family, and Friends

Posts tagged ‘SPEAK OUT!’

Read All About It! . . . . . . . Prisoners without Bars: A Caregiver’s Tale

Read All About It!

Prisoners without Bars: A Caregiver’s Tale

presented by 

Donna O’Donnell Figurski – author

Donna & David with ARC of Prisoners without Bars: A Caregiver’s Tale

My memoir, Prisoners without Bars: A Caregiver’s Tale, is not only a story of David’s and my struggles after his traumatic brain injury, but it is also a love story. Though my memoir addresses a dire topic, it is peppered with comedic situations. They say laughter is the best medicine, and again, they are right.

Prisoners without Bars is a heart-wrenching memoir that will make you laugh, cry, and G-A-S-P. I promise!

Boy Laughing

Girl Crying girl-crying-clipart-34

Girl Gasping 2

It’s not a beach read, but it reads like one. It’s fast! It’s easy! It’s fascineasy. I mean fascinating.

What Readers are Saying!

Jackie said – “A beautiful and touching story.”

Anonymous Amazon Customer said – “I loved this book. almost couldn’t put it down.

jlgwriter said – “I found the story powerful and compelling.

Todd & Kim said – “This is such an inspirational story of survival! The book is a very easy read and informative as well as inspiring!!”

Judy said – “Donna O’Donnell Figurski tells her story of grace, love, frustration, anger, disappointment, strength, joy, and above all hope.”

Marge said – “I read it in one fell swoop… I guess the word that would describe your book, your life, and who you are is SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOIUS.”

Anonymous said – “This book pulled me in immediately and didn’t let me go until the end! ”

Helen said – “Could not put this book down. Written for easy reading. It was like having a conversation with a friend.” “I finished it in one day with some teary moments along with some chuckles. A must read!!”

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Stay Safe and Healthy!

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(Photos compliments of contributor.)

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Caregivers SPEAK OUT! . . . Norma Myers ~ Author, Advocate, & Mom

Caregivers SPEAK OUT! Norma Myers ~ Author, Advocate, & Mom

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Norma Myers Caregiver

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Norma Myers

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email? (optional)

Salem, Virginia, USA

3. What is the brain-injury survivor’s relationship to you? How old was the survivor when he/she had the brain injury? What caused your survivor’s brain injury?

Steven was 22 years old. He was involved in a car crash with his brother Aaron. Aaron didn’t survive the accident. Aaron was 26 years old

4. On what date did you begin care for your brain-injury survivor?

August 13, 2012

Were you the main caregiver?

I resigned from my career with Advance Auto and went to Shepherd Center in Atlanta, Georgia, with Steven, but I had complete support from my husband, Carlan. He drove back and forth from Salem to Atlanta to provide support.

Are you now?

Steven lives independently.

How old were you when you began care?

47 years old

5. Were you caring for anyone else at that time (e.g., children, parents, etc.)?

No

6. Were you employed at the time of your survivor’s brain injury? If so, were you able to continue working?

I was employed, but we choose for me to resign so that I could be Steven’s primary caregiver. I returned to the workforce 2.5 years ago – big accomplishment!

7. Did you have any help? If so, what kind and for how long?

I had my husband’s support. We also had offers of help from family and friends. We also received financial support from family and friends through fundraisers.

8. When did your support of the survivor begin (e.g., immediately – in the hospital; when the survivor returned home; etc.)?

Steven was at Carilion Roanoke Memorial Hospital for a month before being transported to Shepherd Center in Atlanta, Georgia.

9. Was your survivor in a coma? If so, what did you do during that time?

Steven was in a medically induced coma. He had a craniectomy (actually, the first of two). (A craniectomy is the surgical removal of a portion of the skull.) We sat by his bedside, and we also planned a life-celebration for his brother Aaron.

10. Did your survivor have rehab? If so, what kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient and/or outpatient and occupational, physical, speech, and/or other)? How long was the rehab? Where were you when your survivor was getting therapy?

Steven received every discipline of therapy available at the Shepherd Center and when he returned home to Virginia. We spent two months at the Shepherd Center for Rehab –

one month, inpatient; second month, outpatient. I spent time learning everything possible about Steven’s rehab needs for when we returned home.

11. What problems or disabilities of your brain-injury survivor required your care, if any?

Getting Steven to his appointments. Making sure we stayed on top of every available resource, including grants, gifts, and programs that would help Steven with his recovery.

12. How has your life changed since you became a caregiver? Is it better? Is it worse?

That is a loaded question. It has changed in many ways, such as I feel like I was there for Steven when he needed me, which I am thankful I was able to do so. We have experienced “firsts” all over again, such as waiting for Steven to speak his first word, to take his first step, and to become independent all over again. It has made me a stronger person because not only have I experienced the death of my first-born son, but I have also experienced what it’s like to watch my other son learn how to do life all over again.

13. What do you miss the most from pre-brain-injury life?

Witnessing my sons’ enjoying being brothers. I miss being a mother to both of my sons. I also think about what Aaron’s life would look like at every stage of his life if he had survived and what Steven’s life would look like without a traumatic brain injury (Ambiguous Loss).

14. What do you enjoy most in post-brain-injury life?

Celebrating Steven’s victories in life. Helping other families navigate through their journey of TBI (traumatic brain injury).

15. What do you like least about brain injury?

There is no cure, and it’s an invisible disease. I also wish that when people are curious about what happened to Steven, they would ask instead of stare … Steven is fully comfortable in discussing his accident.

16. Has anything helped you to accept your survivor’s brain injury?

13 NORMA MYERS , Steven, Dad Graduation

Steven’s motto helps me put things into perspective … ”Deficits do not define him.” He is an overcomer.

17. Has your survivor’s injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

We rearrange life to be available to Steven should he need us if he has a seizure. Currently, with no license due to seizures, we make sure he is where he needs to be all while balancing our careers. We make it work as a family!

18. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

Of course! As parents, we will always put our son’s needs first.

19. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

I have no idea! We can only take one day – actually one minute – at a time, always trying to better ourselves and be thankful that, while this journey isn’t what we planned for our lives, it’s what God gave us. And we will do the very best we can day by day to honor Him.

20. What advice would you offer other caregivers of brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

tenor

Every brain injury is different, so please don’t do the comparison game. Take one day at a time. Tap into every resource available to you, and, trust me, there are so many out there. You are not alone – there is no shame in asking for help! I will do anything for my fellow brain injury survivors and their families. I am here to offer a word of encouragement through my blogs and volunteer work. Don’t give up!

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Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor.)

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Caregivers SPEAK OUT! . . . . Jenifer Fallert

Caregivers SPEAK OUT! Jenifer Fallert

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

  1. Jenifer Fallert CaregiverWhat is your name? (last name optional)

Jenifer Fallert

  1. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email? (optional)

Lake Saint Louis, Missouri, USA

  1. What is the brain-injury survivor’s relationship to you? How old was the survivor when he/she had the brain injury? What caused your survivor’s brain injury?

My brain injury survivor is my daughter, Jordan. She was one month away from her 24th birthday when she was struck by another car as she drove home from work.

  1. On what date did you begin care for your brain-injury survivor? Were you the main caregiver? Are you now? How old were you when you began care?Jordan Fallert

Jordan was in the ICU (intensive care unit) for about 25 days before she was transferred to a regular floor. Thirty days after her accident, she was transferred by ambulance to another hospital (Madonna Rehabilitation Hospital) in Lincoln, Nebraska. Jordan was at Madonna until June 25. She was then discharged to home care. I was Jordan’s only visitor, along with her nurses who cared for her from the time of her admission. Even in the ICU, nurses aren’t able to attend to every need, so I did as much for Jordan as I could. I am Jordan’s primary caregiver, but my role has changed to more of an advisor. I was 47 at the time of Jordan’s accident.

  1. Were you caring for anyone else at that time (e.g., children, parents, etc.)?Young Teenagers Colorful Casual Clothes

I had two other teenage children whom I was caring for at the time of Jordan’s accident.

  1. Were you employed at the time of your survivor’s brain injury? If so, were you able to continue working?

I was employed as the Director of Operations for a preschool at the time of Jordan’s accident. I took a six-month leave and worked part-time before deciding to stay home with Jordan full-time.

  1. Did you have any help? If so, what kind and for how long?

Jordan was injured during COVID, so most of the time that she was in the hospital or rehab, I was the only one helping her.

  1. When did your support of the survivor begin (e.g., immediately – in the hospital; when the survivor returned home; etc.)?

I provided as much care for Jordan as I possibly could. I started immediately after the accident.

  1. Was your survivor in a coma? If so, what did you do during that time?

Jordan was in a coma for about 14 days and minimally conscious for about another month. While Jordan was in a coma or in her minimally conscious state, I did as much as I could to care for her. I read or crocheted a little to pass the time in the hospital and rehab. I was also dealing with insurance companies and the legal entities involved.

  1. Did your survivor have rehab? If so, what kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient and/or outpatient and occupational, physical, speech, and/or other)? How long was the rehab? Where were you when your survivor was getting therapy?

Jordan received inpatient rehab at Madonna Rehabilitation Hospital in Lincoln, Nebraska. She received physical, occupational, speech, and recreational therapies. She also did intensive outpatient therapy at Madonna for another six weeks before coming back home and doing outpatient therapy at SSM Rehab in Lake Saint Louis, Missouri. I moved to Nebraska and lived in a home for caregivers on the grounds of the rehab facility. Once Jordan was released to outpatient therapy, she lived with me in Nebraska until we came home.

  1. What problems or disabilities of your brain-injury survivor required your care, if any?

R-4When Jordan first came home from rehab, she required help with most of her ADLs (Activities of Daily Living). As time has gone on, she has been able to perform most of her ADLs on her own. She has short-term memory loss, so my role is helping to make sure that she remembers things and stays safe.

  1. How has your life changed since you became a caregiver? Is it better? Is it worse?

My life has changed a lot since I have become Jordan’s caregiver. I no longer work, and I spend most of my time with her at home. The thing is that I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have always loved being with Jordan and spending time with her. My greatest joy is being a mother to all my daughters. I’ve gotten to help raise Jordan twice, and that is quite the gift!

  1. What do you miss the most from pre-brain-injury life?

I miss the daughter whom I knew for 23 years, the relationship Jordan had with her sisters, and the innocence that we all had – the blissful unawareness that most people have that tragedy can strike at a moment’s notice.

  1. What do you enjoy most in post-brain-injury life?

I enjoy getting to spend so much time with Jordan and helping her grow into the wonderful person that she is.

  1. What do you like least about brain injury?

The emotional and cognitive side of brain injury can be very draining and hard on family relationships.

  1. Has anything helped you to accept your survivor’s brain injury?

No answer

  1. Has your survivor’s injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

Jordan’s accident, the legal trial, and COVID have had profound impacts on our family. (The other driver in Jordan’s accident was charged with second degree assault. He was driving 79 mph in a 45-mph zone and had a history of aggressive driving. I can’t describe how that feels. His act of violence on an innocent human will reverberate through our lives forever.)Jordan Fallert Survivor

  1. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

We spend more time at home now. Social settings are hard on Jordan’s ability to communicate effectively, which makes her feel very frustrated.

  1. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

I don’t know what I hope to be doing in ten years. Even though it’s been over a year since Jordan’s brain injury, we are still in the early stages. I hope she is more healed.

  1. What advice would you offer other caregivers of brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add? 

When Jordan was in the hospital, the doctors and nurses would tell me that this is not a sprint; it’s a marathon. That is the truest statement. It takes years and years to heal from a brain injury. Time and patience are key.

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Survivors SPEAK OUT! . . . . . . . Bill Gasiamis Stroke Survivor & Podcaster

Survivors SPEAK OUT!     Bill Gasiamis

Stroke Survivor & Podcaster

by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Bill Gasiamis

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Bill Gasiamis

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email (optional)

Melbourne, Australia

3. On what date did you have your brain injury? At what age?

My stroke happened on February 12, 2012. I was 37.

4. How did your brain injury occur?

It was caused by bleeding of an AVM (arteriovenous malformation).avm-clipart-1

5. When did you (or someone) first realize you had a problem?

It was seven days before I took any action about it.

6. What kind of emergency treatment, if any, did you have?

I was in hospital for seven days. After six weeks at home, my brain bled again (March). It bled again in November 2014, and then I had surgery.

7. Were you in a coma? If so, how long?

No

8. Did you do rehab? What kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient or outpatient and occupational and/or physical and/or speech and/or other)? How long were you in rehab?

I had inpatient rehab for one month and out-patient rehab for six months. I had to learn to use my left side again and learn how to walk.

9. What problems or disabilities, if any, resulted from your brain injury
(e.g., balance, perception, personality, etc.)?

I have numbness on my left side. Fatigue is a problem. I have minor balance issues when I am tired.

10. How has your life changed? Is it better? Is it worse?

Life is better. It’s more complicated because of what happened but my personal growth has been huge.

11. What do you miss the most from your pre-brain-injury life?

I miss playing running-sports, like soccer.R-2

12. What do you enjoy most in your post-brain-injury life?

I have a new appreciation for working on things that are hard and take a long time to complete.

13. What do you like least about your brain injury?

Sometimes, I wish I had more energy.

14. Has anything helped you to accept your brain injury?

I was helped by lots of counselling.

15. Has your injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

It has, but for the better. By my own standards, I am a better person than I used to be.

16. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

No

17. Who is your main caregiver? Do you understand what it takes to be a caregiver?

I don’t have one. (I am my own caregiver.)

03 BILL GASIAMIS mage-1024x998-118. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

I intend to continue to interview stroke survivors on my podcast, to speak on stroke-related topics, and to write books on stroke recovery.

19. Are you able to provide a helpful hint that may have taken you a long time to learn, but which you wished you had known earlier? If so, please state what it is to potentially help other survivors with your specific kind of brain injury.

Survivors need to understand that emotional recovery is a very important part of recovery. It is often overlooked. Emotional recovery supports both the physical and mental aspects of a survivor’s recovery.

R20. What advice would you offer to other brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

Take responsibility for your own recovery, and learn to put your energy into solutions instead of focusing on the problem.

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Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor.)

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Survivors SPEAK OUT! Casey Chaffey – Living and Dealing with Chronic Pain

Survivors SPEAK OUT!     Casey Chaffey

Living and Dealing with Chronic Pain

by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Casey Chaffey 1

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Casey Chaffey

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email (optional)

Kentucky, USA     iluvtkj@yahoo.com

3. On what date did you have your brain injury? At what age?

In 1998, at the age of 22, migraines had become a part of my life.

4. How did your brain injury occur?

Besides the severe head-throbbing, the migraines were often accompanied by nausea, vomiting, extreme sensitivity to light and sound, mental confusion, and more. I gave up caffeine (including chocolate), dairy, and gluten to try to reduce as much inflammation as possible. After being passed from doctor to doctor, I was diagnosed with a vestibular imbalance. That did not improve, even with almost a year of physical therapy, and it became the scapegoat for all of my symptoms.

A few years later, the pain changed from an unwelcome visitor to a permanent resident. Even on my migraine-free days, I still had a persistent headache. Dizziness, blurred vision, fatigue, and constant light-sensitivity decided to join the party as well. Fifteen years after my migraines first started, I was spending about five days a week in bed, and prescription medication was required for me to complete simple daily activities. Finally, after trying more than eighteen different prescriptions and seeing ten different doctors, I had a diagnosis. A fairly large cyst had been growing in the middle of my brain and putting pressure on my optic nerve, which is what caused the vision issues.Migraine

When I was 38 years old, a neurosurgeon removed the cyst. Recovery was not easy or quick. I had double vision for more than four weeks. My brain felt exhausted all the time, and I could not look at any screens (TV, phone, or computer). I had a panic attack for the first time in my life. I had to rest a lot. And my hypothalamus was damaged.

However, the moment I woke up from surgery, my constant headache was gone. I no longer felt and heard my pulse in my head. I went from migraines five days a week to six or seven days a month. My dizzy spells rarely show their unwelcome face anymore. I still have limitations and light-sensitivity, and I am always in some level of pain. My blurry vision will occasionally return, and an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) in 2019 showed evidence of a small stroke at some point. In spite of that, I am thankful for how far I’ve come.

5. When did you (or someone) first realize you had a problem?

See above.

6. What kind of emergency treatment, if any, did you have?

I’ve had treatments, but I didn’t go to the Emergency Room of a hospital.

There are two types of brain injury. Traumatic brain injury is caused by an external force, like a blow to the head or an object passing through the skull. A non-traumatic brain injury is caused by internal factors, such as a lack of oxygen or pressure from a tumor. I had both a cyst that put pressure on my brain for many years (non-traumatic). Surgical tools that were used to get to the center of my brain to remove the cyst (traumatic).

7. Were you in a coma? If so, how long?

No

8. Did you do rehab? What kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient or outpatient and occupational and/or physical and/or speech and/or other)? How long were you in rehab?

I did not do any clinical rehab. My husband helped me go for walks, even when I didn’t want to. We started by just going to the end of our short driveway and back. We slowly worked our way up to crossing the street and then circling our small cul-de-sac. When we decided to attempt a loop at the park, I eventually made it. As I continued to push through, the distances grew.

When I was one day shy of being three-months post-op, I stood at the starting line of a half marathon in Nashville, Tennessee. I obviously could not run, but it was possible to walk 13.1 miles in the four-hour time limit, so I was going to try. It was one of the most difficult things I have done, but I crossed the finish line just under the wire.narathon

9. What problems or disabilities, if any, resulted from your brain injury
(e.g., balance, perception, personality, etc.)?

Looking at computer and phone screens for extended periods of time increases my migraines. I still have to rest more than healthy people, and my vision will get blurry if I do not rest in time. Socializing exhausts me, and I often spend the next day in bed with a migraine. Since my hypothalamus was compromised during surgery, I experience frequent hot and cold flashes. (The hypothalamus helps regulate the body’s core temperature.) I get overheated and feel like I cannot breathe, but when I take just my socks or sweatshirt off, I can start shivering and feel chilled to the bone within a minute or two. I used to love the heat of summer, but now it makes me sick if I spend much time in it.

10. How has your life changed? Is it better? Is it worse?

My life is immensely better than it was the few years before my surgery. At that point, I wasn’t really living; I was simply existing. I have been able to offer advice and encouragement to others who were going to undergo brain surgery. Without my experiences, I would not have had those opportunities. I also recently published a book called 30 Days to Understanding Chronic Illness and Pain.Casey Chaffey 2

11. What do you miss the most from your pre-brain-injury life?

Besides just feeling healthy, I used to be active and fit. Working out gave me an energy boost and made me feel better, like it is supposed to. Now, I still try to exercise and I love hiking, but those things exhaust me. I often have to nap right afterward, and physical exertion can make my head hurt and feel foggy.

12. What do you enjoy most in your post-brain-injury life?

Besides my brain injury, I have other chronic illnesses. I believe that if I want people to understand, then it is my job to teach them (with patience and kindness). Of course, not everyone is willing to listen; but if I do not at least try, then I am not even giving them the opportunity. Navigating through the limitations and suffering can be discouraging. In addition to the symptoms themselves, the stigmas and misconceptions may seem insurmountable. My goal for my book is for it to be an easy and informal read that covers a wide range of topics, including invisible illnesses, cost, guilt and loneliness, fatigue, brain fog, pacing, prevalence, and more. My hope is that it will help me help healthy people gain a better understanding of what life with chronic illness and pain is really like, while also offering support and encouragement to those who are struggling. 

13. What do you like least about your brain injury?

See above.

14. Has anything helped you to accept your brain injury?

No answer

15. Has your injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

No answer

16. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

See above.

17. Who is your main caregiver? Do you understand what it takes to be a caregiver?

No answer

18. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

See above.

19. Are you able to provide a helpful hint that may have taken you a long time to learn, but which you wished you had known earlier? If so, please state what it is to potentially help other survivors with your specific kind of brain injury.

this little girl has something to say

I wish I would not have stayed silent about my struggles for so long. I used to avoid talking about my pain and the journey that I was on. I do not like to complain, and I know that everyone has challenges in life. But as I slowly began to open up, people came out of the shadows. I realized that I was not alone in feeling alone and that others were going through the same or similar things. When we keep our suffering to ourselves, it can steal our entire focus and limit outside interests and distractions. This can lead to feelings of hopelessness, resentment, or loneliness. There is no shame in seeking therapy or other support to help you develop coping skills. While you may not be able to control the pain or limitations themselves, you can take control of how you deal with them. 

20. What advice would you offer to other brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

Rest is not laziness, and pacing is vital. We live in such a fast-paced world, and there is always so much to do. One of the hardest lessons to learn is to slow down because you cannot do everything that you used to. It is easy to feel guilty, lazy, or left out. It is difficult to leave projects unfinished and to stay home when everyone else is out having fun. But once your body informs you that you are overdoing it, you need to rest and stop comparing yourself to others. When you rest because your body is weak, you are not wasting time doing nothing. You are doing exactly what you need to do. You are recovering.

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Click Links under Book

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                                                  e-BOOK!   Read it Now!  

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Stay Safe and Healthy!

Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor.)

As I say after each post:

Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

anim0014-1_e0-1

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

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Indie Spotlight – Donna O’Donnell Figurski

I am so honored to be featured on Sue Bavey’s website, Sue’s Musings – Indie Spotlight. Sue features authors to take a glimpse into their journey to publication. Each story is different and intriguing. I hope you will find my story interesting and that you will take the time to read my book, PRISONERS WITHOUT BARS: A CAREGIVER’S TALE. I’ve been told it will make you laugh, cry, and G-A-S-P! Please let me know if you did any?

donna o’donnell figurski – author

Prisoners (print) Amazon US Paperback
Prisoners (eBook) Amazon US eBook
Prisoners (audiobook) Amazon Audiobook
Prisoners (print) Barnes and Noble Paperback
Prisoners (eBook) Barnes and Noble eBook
Prisoners (print) IndieBound
Prisoners (eBook) Kobo

Survivors SPEAK OUT! Meghan Beaudry

Survivors SPEAK OUT! Meghan Beaudry

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Meghan Beaudry – Brain Injury Survivor

     1. What is your name? (last name optional)

     Meghan Beaudry

     2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email (optional)

     Houston, Texas, USA        meghan_wang@yahoo.com

     3. On what date did you have your brain injury? At what age?

     In 2009, I developed lupus, an autoimmune disease, that turned into brain inflammation. I was      twenty-two. Five years later, in 2014, I had another severe brain inflammation flare in which I forgot both how to walk and much of my past.

4. How did your brain injury occur?

Lupus is an autoimmune disease.

5. When did you (or someone) first realize you had a problem?

I first realized something was wrong when I began to struggle in grad school.

6. What kind of emergency treatment, if any, did you have?

A female Doctor.

A female Doctor.

I had a difficult time getting diagnosed, so I did not receive treatment the first year I was sick. I saw seven doctors before I was diagnosed with lupus. 

7. Were you in a coma? If so, how long?

No.

8. Did you do rehab? What kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient or outpatient and occupational and/or physical and/or speech and/or other)? How long were you in rehab?

No.

9. What problems or disabilities, if any, resulted from your brain injury
(e.g., balance, perception, personality, etc.)?

I have some short-term and long-term memory loss. While I don’t have noticeable balance problems, I have a poor sense of balance for someone my age.

10. How has your life changed? Is it better? Is it worse?

My life has changed in many ways since I’ve survived brain inflammation. In some ways, it has improved. I’m more fearless and confident. Because living with brain injury and lupus takes up so much energy, I have little energy for negative thoughts and people who might hold me back

11. What do you miss the most from your pre-brain-injury life?

I miss being able to memorize information quickly and with little effort.

12. What do you enjoy most in your post-brain-injury life?

I never would have started writing if I hadn’t developed a brain injury. It’s been an honor to be able to share my experience so that others with brain injuries can feel less alone.

13. What do you like least about your brain injury?

I dislike the fatigue that comes with lupus, as well as worrying that I will have a memory slip when speaking, presenting, or performing.

14. Has anything helped you to accept your brain injury?

What has helped me let go of my grief is understanding that, while living with brain injury is not a choice, grief is. I’d rather only live with one chronic condition than with two.

15. Has your injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

It took a while for my family to accept that my abilities and needs were different after my diagnosis. My second episode of brain inflammation led to my divorce because my husband was emotionally unable to handle it.

16. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

I’ve been lucky to know friends who understand my limitations, especially because of the fatigue I experience daily. In many ways, brain inflammation has deepened many of my existing friendships.

17. Who is your main caregiver? Do you understand what it takes to be a caregiver?

When I was very sick and bedridden with the second brain inflammation flare, my mother-in-law moved into my house to take care of me. Her selflessness and positive energy were huge factors in my recovery.

18. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

I hope to have published a memoir about my experience.

19. Are you able to provide a helpful hint that may have taken you a long time to learn, but which you wished you had known earlier? If so, please state what it is to potentially help other survivors with your specific kind of brain injury.

I use my phone to help me remember everything. There are so many apps to help you keep track of your life.

20. What advice would you offer to other brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

Always remember that the lowest point in your injury/life is not the point at which you will stay forever.

 

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Caregivers SPEAK OUT: . . . Author, Abby Maslin

Caregivers SPEAK OUT: Author, Abby Maslin

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski – author

Prisoners without Bars: A Caregiver’s Tale

 

Caregiver, Abby Maslin – author of “Love You Hard”

 

 

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Abby Maslin

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email? (optional)

Washington, DC, USA

3. What is the brain-injury survivor’s relationship to you? How old was the survivor when he/she had the brain injury? What caused your survivor’s brain injury?

My husband, TC, is the TBI (traumatic brain injury) survivor. He was 29 at the time of the assault that caused his injury.

4. On what date did you begin care for your brain-injury survivor? Were you the main caregiver? Are you now? How old were you when you began care?

I became my husband’s full-time caregiver on August 18, 2012. I had just celebrated my 30th birthday.

5. Were you caring for anyone else at that time (e.g., children, parents, etc.)?

I had a 21-month-old son, named Jack, whom I was also caring for at the time.

6. Were you employed at the time of your survivor’s brain injury? If so, were you able to continue working?

I was employed as a fourth-grade teacher. TC’s injury occurred the weekend before school started. I was not able to return to work for a year.

7. Did you have any help? If so, what kind and for how long?

We had family members who lived nearby and who offered intermittent help. My parents were both ill, however, and unable to help in any large capacity.

8. When did your support of the survivor begin (e.g., immediately – in the hospital; when the survivor returned home; etc.)?

Immediately. It began as I was tasked with advocating for TC’s medical care.

9. Was your survivor in a coma? If so, what did you do during that time?

Yes. TC was in a deep coma for about four days, but he took more than two weeks to fully come out of it.

10. Did your survivor have rehab? If so, what kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient and/or outpatient and occupational, physical, speech, and/or other)? How long was the rehab? Where were you when your survivor was getting therapy?

Yes. TC received all the therapies: speech, occupational, and physical. He received occupational and physical therapies for about one year. He received speech for more than two years.

Love You Hard by Abby Maslin

11. What problems or disabilities of your brain-injury survivor required your care, if any?

TC had severe aphasia (struggles with both expressive and receptive language). He had physical weakness on one side of his body and needed to relearn how to walk. He continues to have limited use of his right hand.

12. How has your life changed since you became a caregiver? Is it better? Is it worse?

It’s really impossible to compare. My life since becoming a caregiver is far more complex and difficult. It’s required a lot of emotional growth and healing to let go of the life I had and the relationship I once shared with my spouse. This new life, however, is far richer in purpose and gratitude than it was before. I have a clearer sense of who I am, what I’m capable of, and how I want to spend my time on earth.

13. What do you miss the most from pre-brain-injury life?

I miss the sense of safety I once felt. I miss the easy conversation my husband and I once shared. (His aphasia makes communication much more effortful.)

14. What do you enjoy most in post-brain-injury life?

I enjoy the sense of gratitude I live with daily. I can identify and reflect on my blessings with clarity. It’s a wonderful thing to appreciate life as it’s happening.

15. What do you like least about brain injury?

The unpredictability. As a caregiver, I find that it’s difficult to align one’s expectations to the recovery of a loved one, as everything is always in flux and changing.

16. Has anything helped you to accept your survivor’s brain injury?

What’s helped me is the recognition that suffering is universal. My family and I were never exempt from life’s challenges and normalizing that experience of hardship has helped me make peace with its existence.

17. Has your survivor’s injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

Absolutely. While my husband’s personality is mostly unchanged, there are subtle changes that have required us to relearn each other as people. It has shifted the dynamics of responsibility and roles in the household.

18. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

Yes, at first. But, we were fortunate to have many friends who stuck out the recovery process with us and with whom we still socialize. We are not as social as before, but we also have two young children these days.

19. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

Praying for continued good health. TC has wonderful healthy habits, but we can’t control the aging process. If all goes well, in ten years, we’ll still be working and living at home with a 14-year-old daughter and a 20-year-old son at college!

Caregiver, Abby Maslin – author of “Love You Hard”

20. What advice would you offer other caregivers of brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

Be forgiving of yourself and your own process of grief. It cannot be rushed. The hand you’ve been dealt is a terribly unfair one, and it is OK to acknowledge the gravity of that fact. Life with brain injury requires persistence, patience, and a lot of hope, but life can be as beautiful and as rich as before.

 

Stay Safe and Healthy!

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(Photos compliments of contributor.)

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Kid Books – Just for Fun – “While We Can’t Hug”

Kid Books – Just for Fun

reviewed by
Donna O’Donnell Figurski


 

“While We Can’t Hug”

written by Eoin McLaughlin
illustrated by Polly Dunbar

My rating 5 of 5 stars

 

While We Can’t Hug” is a sweet book that children will want to hear again and again. Parents, will enjoy reading it over and over, too. I know I would. We all like to hug our family and friends, but what can you do when you can’t hug? Ask Tortoise and Hedgehog.

Donna O’Donnell Figurski
author – Prisoners without Bars: A Caregiver’s Tale

COVID-19: Love in the Time of a Pandemic

COVID-19: Love in the Time of a Pandemic

by

Columbia University Professor Emeritus, Dr. David Figurski

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

(Disclaimer: The World Health Organization <WHO> has officially named the new coronavirus as SARS-CoV-2 and the disease it causes as COVID-19.  Because the majority of people, including much of the press, commonly refer to the virus as “COVID-19,” to avoid confusion I use COVID-19 as the name of the virus in these posts.)

David H. Figurski, Ph.D & Survivor of Brain Injury

Donna and I recently celebrated 51 years of marriage.  We chose the beautiful desert scenery around the White Tank Mountains near our home in Arizona.  We returned to the place that Donna proposed to me last year as part of our 50th anniversary celebration.

This year, our anniversary celebration was very different.  We are in the middle of a global pandemic of a new coronavirus.  To slow the spread of this highly contagious virus, most people wear masks, practice social-distancing, and self-quarantine.  (For us, except for monthly food pick-up runs, we have been home over 160 days.)

Desert near the White Tank Mountains

The effect of the pandemic has been horrific and devastating for society, most notably for health-care personnel, blue-collar workers, teachers and school administrators, and middle- and lower-class families, who are struggling with paying bills, having enough food, and eviction.

Donna & David Figurski Wedding Anniversary #51

Globally, there have been over 22.5 million confirmed cases of COVID-19, and over 795,000 people have died. The U.S. has over 5.5 million cases and over 175,000 deaths. Scientists and physicians around the world are racing to understand the virus and its disease.  A viable vaccine is months away.

David & Donna Figurski – so happy together

Everyone is trying to cope as best as he or she can. On a personal level, Donna and I are fortunate to deeply love one another and to have each other in the midst of such chaos.

Love is worth celebrating wherever and whenever you can.

Stay Safe and Healthy!

Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor.)

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TBI - Survivors, Caregivers, Family, and Friends

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The Care Factor

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Brain Aneurysm, cerebral hemorrhaging, hemorrhage stroke

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