TBI – Survivors, Caregivers, Family, and Friends

Posts tagged ‘Another Fork in the Road’

Sneak Peeks for Prisoners

My book, Prisoners without Bars: A Caregiver’s Tale, will be released to the public on November 1, 2018 by WriteLife Publishing of Boutique of Quality Books Publishing Company.  Here are pre-order links for Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and IndieBound.

Excerpt 6

Chapter 15

Emotional Roller-coaster

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

nurse-clipart-2645bff0709e4cf23bcaff6690965816-1… A few days later, on January 26th, David gave his night nurse a scare, which in turn frightened me. When David’s night nurse Melody checked on David in the middle of the night, she found him sitting up in bed. That’s not so scary, except that David had no control over his body. He was unable to move, and his muscles were slack, but somehow he had found the bed controls that raise and lower the sick-clipart-sick-person-12mattress and fiddled with them enough to bring his upper mattress to a dangerously high, perpendicular position. He was seated precariously upright—nearly flopping over like a Raggedy Andy doll.

When Melody, whom I absolutely adored, told me of the incident the next morning, I detected a barely perceptible grin on David’s face. He had enjoyed his unwitting prank …

 

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Sneak Peeks for Prisoners

My book, Prisoners without Bars: a caregiver’s tale, will be released to the public on November 1, 2018 by WriteLife Publishing of Boutique of Quality Books Publishing Company. Here are pre-order links for Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and IndieBound.

Excerpt 5

Chapter 19

Befriending the Staff

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

hospital-clipart-hospital3

… Who would have thought that Radburn would become home? When we arrived on the evening of February 7th, my life was vague. Unlike my normal structured life, hospital life caused me to become disoriented. I didn’t know what to expect from moment to moment … This new life was abnormal-crazy. I lived thday to day, and nothing seemed real. My familiar routine was gone, and my life was as upended as David’s was. Life swirled around me, but I didn’t feel it. I floundered in a fog. When we arrived at Radburn, I never dreamed that we would spend the next two months of our lives there. I had no idea what our time frame would be. Nobody did …

 

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SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

Itty-Bitty GIant Steps for Blog

 

 

SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty Giant Steps will provide a venue for brain-injury survivors and caregivers to shout out their accomplishments of the week.

If you have an Itty-Bitty Giant Step and you would like to share it, just send an email to me at donnaodonnellfigurski@gmail.com.

If you are on Facebook, you can simply send a Private Message to me. It need only be a sentence or two. I’ll gather the accomplishments and post them with your name on my blog approximately once a week. (If you do not want your last name to be posted, please tell me in your email or Private Message.)

I hope we have millions of Itty-Bitty Giant Steps.

 

Lisa Parker

 

Lisa Parker (survivor) … I went to Al-Anon with my mom last night, and it was gr8!

FocusGroup-ridgetopvirtualsolutions

 

 

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor.)

As I say after each post:

Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.anim0014-1_e0-1

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Survivors SPEAK OUT! . . . Su Meck

Survivors SPEAK OUT! Su Meck

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

 

 

1 Su Meck 10862625_10204051895112757_5004286472948685848_o

Su Meck – Brain Injury Survivor & Author of “I Forgot to Remember”

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

My name is Su Meck.

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email (optional)

I currently live in Northern Virginia (USA) outside of Washington D.C.

On what date did you have your brain injury? At what age?

3. My brain injury occurred on Sunday, May 22, 1988. I was twenty-two years old at the time.

4. How did your brain injury occur?

A ceiling fan in my kitchen fell and hit my head, knocking me down. As I fell, my head hit the kitchen counter, and then hit the floor.ceiling-fan-clip-art-1160226

5. When did you (or someone) first realize you had a problem?

My husband, Jim, was sitting right there at the kitchen table reading the Fort Worth Star Telegram when the ceiling fan fell on me. He saw the whole thing.

6. What kind of emergency treatment, if any, did you have?

Jim called 911 right away. The ambulance came and took me to the closer (smaller satellite) hospital. But it was quickly determined that I needed to be at the bigger downtown Forth Worth hospital because that hospital actually had an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) scan machine.

7. Were you in a coma? If so, how long?

Whether or not I was in a coma depends upon which pages of my (handwritten) medical records one reads. I was definitely in and out of consciousness for a few days, but I am unsure as to if I was in an actual coma.

8. Did you do rehab? What kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient or outpatient and occupational and/or physical and/or speech and/or other)? How long were you in rehab?

Rehab? In Texas? In 1988? LOL! The “rehab” that I had was terribly inadequate, especially by today’s standards. I was assigned a physical therapist and an occupational therapist, but it is unclear what specifically those people did with me.

9. What problems or disabilities, if any, resulted from your brain injury
(e.g., balance, perception, personality, etc.)?Forget

The most significant loss for me was experiencing total retrograde amnesia, which means I lost all of my memories of roughly the first twenty-two years of my life. Initially, both short- and long-term memory were affected. I did not recognize my husband, my two children (ages 2 and 1), any other family members, or friends. I also couldn’t walk, read, count, brush my teeth or hair, feed myself, etc. My personality post accident is the opposite of my personality from before the accident.

10. How has your life changed? Is it better? Is it worse?

My life totally changed. Better or worse? It’s way more complicated than that. I don’t personally know what my life was like before the accident. I have to rely on the memories and stories of others who knew me. Which, by the way, really kind of sucks.

11. What do you miss the most from your pre-brain-injury life?

I don’t have any memory of anything from my life pre TBI (traumatic brain injury): all of my childhood/teenage/early adulthood memories, learning how to ride a bike, birthdays, grandparents, learning how to play piano and drums, vacations, my first crush, my first kiss, pets, losing my virginity, college-looking (the first time), sorority rush/initiation/parties/friends, meeting and falling in love with my husband, my wedding, the pregnancies of my two boys and their first years, and so many, many, many more …

12. What do you enjoy most in your post-brain-injury life?Speaker

Advocating for my fellow TBI survivors. I love speaking to groups of survivors, caregivers, and anyone really about what it is like to live with a TBI.

13. What do you like least about your brain injury?

Nearly everything else

14. Has anything helped you to accept your brain injury?

Even though there are still some days that I feel as though I can’t do, or understand, or remember a damn thing, the process of writing my book helped me to come to terms with how far I have actually come since my accident.

15. Has your injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

Oh yes! I don’t feel as if I am part of my family (my parents’ and siblings’ family). I think of my kids as more like my siblings. And my husband? Well … We are still married (33 years) … But since my accident, there have been some genuinely shitty times!

16. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

I’m sure it has changed in many ways, but one thing that comes to mind (and the thing that was most noticeable when I was in college at both Montgomery College and then at Smith College) is the fact that I feel way more comfortable around people in their 20s and 30s than I do around people my “real” age (50s).

17. Who is your main caregiver? Do you understand what it takes to be a caregiver?

Jim, my husband, is my main caregiver now. But at times, my children often took on the caregiver role because Jim traveled so much.

3 Su Meck & Jim 10835181_659603147482572_2314662174685025134_o

090518 PressKit_DonnaODonnelFigurski dmf3 091218

18. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

Wow! This is a tough one. I would love to continue writing (and publishing) stories, essays, lyrics, whatever. I always wanted to be part of a working/performing rock band, playing drums as well as singing. I want to become more proficient on the guitar, uke, and piano. I’d love to travel around speaking and educating people about what it is like to live in this crazy world as a TBI survivor. I’d love to move back to New England. I want to ski, and hike, and learn to swim. I’d love to have a dog (a service dog would be great to keep me from wandering). I want to take long extended vacations to Australia, New Zealand, England, Ireland, and even Canada.

19. Are you able to provide a helpful hint that may have taken you a long time to learn, but which you wished you had known earlier? If so, please state what it is to potentially help other survivors with your specific kind of brain injury.

Be happy with who you are now, even if you are one hundred percent different from the person you were before. Be honest with yourself and others. It is okay to ask for help. Graduating from Smith College in 2014 was a huge accomplishment for me. In fact, Smith almost did me in physically, mentally, and emotionally. But Smith also gave me a tremendous gift: An enthusiastic love of reading and learning. Keep learning!

I forgot to Remember Book Cover20. What advice would you offer to other brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

Please buy and read my book, I Forgot to Remember: A Memoir of Amnesia. (I’m shameless!) And, if you like it, please write a positive review on Amazon and/or Goodreads. (Yes, I’m truly shameless!)

 

 

Please check out Su Meck’s book. It’s a great read!

 

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

As I say after each post: Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Commentanim0014-1_e0-1 below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it (intact) with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it (intact) with your enemies. I don’t care!

Feel free to “Like” my post.

 

 

Caregivers SPEAK OUT! . . . . Carol . . . (for her husband, Andy)

Caregivers SPEAK OUT!

Carol (caregiver for her husband, Andy)

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

 

Carol1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Carol

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email? (optional)

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

3. What is the brain-injury survivor’s relationship to you? How old was the survivor when he/she had the brain injury? What caused your survivor’s brain injury?

Andy is my spouse. He was 53. He was in a motorcycle accident on his way to work.th

4. On what date did you begin care for your brain-injury survivor? Were you the main caregiver? Are you now? How old were you when you began care?

I began care the day of the accident. I was in the hospital every day for eight to ten hours waiting for Andy to wake up. We finally came home after five months. I became his full-time caregiver, and I still am. I was 50; I just turned 52.

5. Were you caring for anyone else at that time (e.g., children, parents, etc.)?

No

6. Were you employed at the time of your survivor’s brain injury? If so, were you able to continue working?

Yes. I was working full-time, but I resigned after the accident.

7. Did you have any help? If so, what kind and for how long?

We were lucky to have a full team of therapists. But, we had no support-workers because Andy felt that the people were invading his privacy.

8. When did your support of the survivor begin (e.g., immediately – in the hospital; when the survivor returned home; etc.)?

Immediately. I was in the hospital every day to give my husband moral support and the healing effect of touch.

9. Was your survivor in a coma? If so, what did you do during that time?

My husband’s coma was induced. I was in the ICU (intensive care unit) with him all day. Holding his hands. Playing his music.e799afda1f4dee4bd0c8c6e0606325b1

10. Did your survivor have rehab? If so, what kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient and/or outpatient and occupational, physical, speech, and/or other)? How long was the rehab? Where were you when your survivor was getting therapy?

My husband was admitted to rehab for almost three months. It was exceptionally long. But, he was not in a position to benefit from all the therapies. He suffered from seizures, and the medication made him tired. He slept most of the days. I was at rehab with him all day. I tiptoed out for coffee breaks, but I didn’t go far.

11. What problems or disabilities of your brain-injury survivor required your care, if any?

I help with Andy’s problems with gait, balance, cognitive functions, memory, and emotional lability (involuntary, sometimes inappropriate, emotional displays of mood, which are overly rapid and exaggerated). I take care of meals, finances, housekeeping, and Andy’s soiled beddings. After continuing physio three times a week, Andy found that his gait and balance improved. The problem with his urinary tract got better on its own. I still accompany him to all his therapy sessions because of his memory problem.

12. How has your life changed since you became a caregiver? Is it better? Is it worse?

Life has become simpler. No running after unnecessary things. This gave me the chance to notice more, and I realized that there all lots of kind and helpful people around the community. Our roles changed – I have to deal with the house and finances.

13. What do you miss the most from pre-brain-injury life?hotel-clipart-transparent-background-4.png

We travel together two or three times a year. Andy was the one who used to plan and book the trips and accommodations. I miss him sharing his ideas about everything.

14. What do you enjoy most in post-brain-injury life?

Being with him. Seeing the progress every day. Listening to his fears and seeing him happy.

15. What do you like least about brain injury?

A lot of people are not aware of TBI (traumatic brain injury). I myself never heard of it until my husband was diagnosed as having a TBI. It has drastically changed his life. I have to deal with all the house work and repairs. I have to make the final decisions.

16. Has anything helped you to accept your survivor’s brain injury?

Yes. Andy used to tell me that there are no regrets in life. Everything is done through our own decisions. We cannot say “What if … ?”No Excuses

17. Has your survivor’s injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

Yes. My role is now changed. My two children and I miss Andy’s ideas, suggestions, and guidance.

18. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

Yes. I have become overprotective. I don’t want to leave my husband alone. My friends are all working, so not only is there no time to meet, but it’s also not easy for me to leave the house without him.

volunteers19. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

I would love to volunteer and help other people.

20. What advice would you offer other caregivers of brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

Be patient; time heals. It’s a learning process to both the survivor and the caregiver. And, it’s absolutely worthwhile! It changed my perspectives in life.

 

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

As I say after each post: Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Commentanim0014-1_e0-1 below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it (intact) with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it (intact) with your enemies. I don’t care!

Feel free to “Like” my post.

 

 

 

SPEAK OUT! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

Itty-Bitty GIant Steps for Blog

 

 

SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty Giant Steps will provide a venue for brain-injury survivors and caregivers to shout out their accomplishments of the week.

If you have an Itty-Bitty Giant Step and you would like to share it, just send an email to me at donnaodonnellfigurski@gmail.com.

If you are on Facebook, you can simply send a Private Message to me. It need only be a sentence or two. I’ll gather the accomplishments and post them with your name on my blog approximately once a week. (If you do not want your last name to be posted, please tell me in your email or Private Message.)

I hope we have millions of Itty-Bitty Giant Steps.

Heather Sivori Floyd & TJ

Brain Injury Survivor, TJ and Mom, Heather Sivori Floyd

Heather Sivori Floyd (caregiver for her son, TJ) … TJ was finally able to get out of the bath on his own! We will always celebrate the little, yet big, milestones because they matter. It matters simply because these moments are the reasons to keep going when it’s very hard. (Keep it up, buddy! You’ll hit those goals because you are determined.) So very proud of him and his never-ending drive to keep going.

Heather Sivori Floyd

Heather Sivori Floyd – Caregiver for son, TJ

 

YOU did it!

Congrats to TJ!

 

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor.)

As I say after each post:anim0014-1_e0-1

Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it intact with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

Survivors SPEAK OUT! . . . Gage Mabry

Survivors SPEAK OUT! Gage Mabry

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

 

Gage Mabry 1

Gage Mabry – survivor of brain injury

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Gage Mabry

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email (optional)

Missouri, USA

3. On what date did you have your brain injury? At what age?

October 24, 2015  I was 20 years old.

4. How did your brain injury occur?

I was working, and a fifteen-pound scanner fell from a twelve-foot ladder overhead. It landed on top of my head.

5. When did you (or someone) first realize you had a problem?

Immediately. I knew that I took a good hit to the head. It was like being a cartoon character in a slow-moving cartoon.

6. What kind of emergency treatment, if any, did you have?

There was no emergency-care immediately after the accident. I continued to work the rest of my shift. I was disoriented, my vision was blurry, and I developed a massive headache. It wasn’t until my mom tried to wake me up that we realized there was a problem.1304_Symptom_12

7. Were you in a coma? If so, how long?

No

8. Did you do rehab? What kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient or outpatient and occupational and/or physical and/or speech and/or other)? How long were you in rehab?

I was sent to a company doctor, who at first diagnosed my injury as a concussion. When my symptoms continued to persist and worsen over the next few weeks, the company sent me to have a CT (“cat”; computerized tomography) scan, which showed no abnormalities. Over the next three months of “rest,” my symptoms continued, and new ones developed. So now, my brain injury was diagnosed as Post-Concussion Syndrome. I was sent for neurological testing, which showed deficiencies in brain function. I was then referred for further treatments to involve pain management, balance therapy, and counseling. But, due to the situation, I never received any treatment other than what my family could try and provide. Now after two years and an independent medical exam, I’ve been diagnosed as having “Diffuse TBI” (traumatic brain injury).

9. What problems or disabilities, if any, resulted from your brain injury
(e.g., balance, perception, personality, etc.)?

headacheI have severe migraines that last for days, photophobia, sensitivities to loud sounds and to certain smells, and balance issues. I also have issues with depression, anxiety, anger, and fatigue that are so bad that I can’t even function some days.

10. How has your life changed? Is it better? Is it worse?

This is a hard one. My old life is gone, but my new one is filled with good and bad … it’s a work in progress!

11. What do you miss the most from your pre-brain-injury life?

Activities I used to do; my friends.

12. What do you enjoy most in your post-brain-injury life?

All the possibilities

Gage Mabry 2

Gage Mabry – Brain Injury Survivor

13. What do you like least about your brain injury?

The headaches

14. Has anything helped you to accept your brain injury?

My mom!

15. Has your injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

This has been a roller-coaster ride. It has devastated my family financially, but it has brought us together – with more love and support for each other that we had before. My friends and girlfriend have their lives to live, and I just wasn’t part of their plans anymore.

16. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

This difference has been the hardest for me to accept. I went from being a popular, outgoing, and athletic person to a withdrawn, angry, and depressed person overnight. Social anxiety has been the hardest things to try and overcome, but I’m doing it day by day. Finding humor in that anxious setting has been the best medicine ever! I explain it to people as an “EMP” … electrical magnetic pulse … when I can’t remember my left from my right or forget how to speak. It eases the tension.

Mabry, Darlene Watson Caregiver

Darlene Watson Mabry – Caregiver

17. Who is your main caregiver? Do you understand what it takes to be a caregiver?

My MOM! And, yes, it has been so hard for her. I don’t know how she does it. She’s a

superhero to me!

18. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

I still have my dreams that I will fulfill. They have just been altered. Instead of a “Game Designer” … it’s a “Game Broadcaster”; my physical-fitness regimens have been modified to walking instead of running. “Compromise” is what my mom calls it!

19. Are you able to provide a helpful hint that may have taken you a long time to learn, but which you wished you had known earlier? If so, please state what it is to potentially help other survivors with your specific kind of brain injury.

You may have setbacks, but that doesn’t mean the game is over!

20. What advice would you offer to other brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

Never give up – regardless of how bad it gets – because you belong to a special group now … you are a Survivor!

 

Gage’s mother wrote a moving “Faces of Brain Injury”  Click to read

Please leave a comment/question. I will respond.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

As I say after each post: Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Commentanim0014-1_e0-1 below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it (intact) with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it (intact) with your enemies. I don’t care!

Feel free to “Like” my post.

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