TBI Caregiver | Surviving Traumatic Brain Injury

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Caregivers SPEAK OUT! Tatiana Puckett

Caregivers SPEAK OUT! – Tatiana Puckett

presented

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Tatiana Puckett

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email? (optional)

Palmdale, California, USA tatianamdiaz@yahoo.com

3. What is the brain-injury survivor’s relationship to you? How old was the survivor when he/she had the brain injury? What caused your survivor’s brain injury?

The traumatic brain injury (TBI) survivor is my spouse (Joshua). He was 31. Josh was assaulted late at night outside our apartment building.

4. On what date did you begin care for your brain-injury survivor? Were you the main caregiver? Are you now? How old were you when you began care?

I began care on April 10, 2013, the day Josh left the hospital. I have always been his main caregiver. I was 30.

5. Were you caring for anyone else at that time (e.g., children, parents, etc.)?

I was caring for my two sons, and I was pregnant with the third.

6. Were you employed at the time of your survivor’s brain injury? If so, were you able to continue working?

I was employed but gradually had to go from full-time to part-time, which got me laid off from that position. My mother-in-law moved in with us, which allowed me to continue working and accept a new job.

7. Did you have any help? If so, what kind and for how long?

My mother-in-law takes care of the boys almost around the clock since the date of the injury to now.

8. When did your support of the survivor begin (e.g., immediately – in the hospital; when the survivor returned home; etc.)?

I began care as soon as Josh got home from the hospital.

9. Was your survivor in a coma? If so, what did you do during that time?

No. Josh wasn’t in a coma, but he was given a lot of sedatives. Josh is very rebellious and antsy. You can’t tell him to sit still because, even prior to his TBI, he wouldn’t. Josh constantly tried to flee the hospital and the rehab center. I even had to go to the hospital one night in the middle of the night to convince him to stay. I drove between home and the hospital a lot, especially since the hospital didn’t allow children under 12 to visit. My mother-in-law and I had to take turns.

10. Did your survivor have rehab? If so, what kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient and/or outpatient and occupational, physical, speech, and/or other)? How long was the rehab? Where were you when your survivor was getting therapy?

Yes, Josh had inpatient rehab – occupational, speech, and physical therapies. It should have been a lot longer, but Josh managed to talk his way out of it in two days time. When Josh had rehab, I was right there with him.

11. What problems or disabilities of your brain-injury survivor required your care, if any?

I try to keep Josh calm, which can be difficult. It changes daily and can get really frustrating, but I do my best to keep aggression at bay.

12. How has your life changed since you became a caregiver? Is it better? Is it worse?

It’s difficult. I feel guilty because I feel torn between work, the kids, and Josh. Josh requires a lot of my time. I feel like my kids are missing out on time with me because, when I’m not at work, I’m with Josh. And, sometimes when Josh needs me, I can’t help him because I need to spend time with my boys.

13. What do you miss the most from pre-brain-injury life?

I miss being able to depend on my husband for everyday things. I have to parent with my mother-in-law instead of with my husband, which isn’t bad, but it’s not ideal. Josh can’t be around the kids too long because they overwhelm him. It’s hard.

14. What do you enjoy most in post-brain-injury life?

I like watching Josh discover new aspects of his creativity. He has a newfound excitement for writing and painting, both of which have bloomed since his TBI.

15. What do you like least about brain injury?

I find Josh’s new personality to be overwhelming at times. He wants to share every poem, every drawing, and every thought with me, even when I just want a quiet moment.

16. Has anything helped you to accept your survivor’s brain injury?

Time. As time goes on, it gets easier, but some days are still really hard.

17. Has your survivor’s injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

Like I mentioned above for question 12, I feel stretched in every direction. I did before as a working mom, but even more so now. I feel like, in a day, I end up with maybe two minutes to myself, but, once I get those minutes of silence, Josh needs me to listen to a song, a poem, etc. I’m happy for him, but, between work, handling home finances, kids, and him, it’s so tiring.

18. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

A little. I mean, maybe Josh and I go out a bit more. With his mom home, we get to go to open mics, so Josh can play music and read his poetry.

19. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

I’d like to say that we will own a home in ten years. We all need space, so this two-bedroom apartment isn’t cutting it.

20. What advice would you offer other caregivers of brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

Give yourself and your TBIer some space. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. If you feel an argument starting, stay calm and, as calmly as possible, explain that you should both step away before emotions escalate out of control. Remember not to take things personally. It’s not you your survivor’s mad at. It’s a frustrating world, and it’s scary, and your survivor’s lashing out. Just keep calm and step away.

Disclaimer: Any views and opinions of the Contributor are purely his/her own.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor.)

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Caregivers SPEAK OUT!

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TBI Tales . . . A Letter to Attackers Jasmine Oldham

To My Husband’s Attackers – One Year Later

Jasmine Oldham

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

You’ve been on my mind lately. Frankly, you’ve been on my mind most of this year. Do you realize today marks a year since you attacked my husband while he was walking in Toronto? Doesn’t it seem odd that your actions almost ended my husband’s life, and you haven’t even seen it?

I wonder about you. I can’t help it. When we’re in the city for appointments (don’t you know that all the brain-injury specialists are in the same city in which this happened), I watch the eyes of the men we meet. I wait to see if they recognize my husband – if they are seeing the ghost of the man whom they thought they murdered a year ago. I don’t know that I’ll ever stop being curious or watching for you. It just makes sense that we will meet; the police assigned to this case are kind and smart, and the world isn’t as big as you might think it is.

My husband and his friends were out for his bachelor party. I know they told you. I know you knew I was waiting at home for the love of my life. And yet, my husband and his friends barely talk now. Traumatic brain injuries have a way of breaking up friendships. Our first year of marriage was spent in doctors’ offices and rehab clinics, instead of having vacations and adventures.

I wonder at your group dynamics now, and I am curious if they parallel ours. Have you pushed each other away because you can’t stand seeing your friends as the monsters from that night? Or, do you hold each other close – keeping tabs on each other to make sure the secret stays secret? Which of you will be the next with a boot to the head for saying the wrong thing? And that girl. Does she worry each time you all go out that you’ll be arrested? Or beaten? I wonder if she struggles with panic attacks each time a phone rings? I did. For months, I relived the voicemails detailing your attack on my husband.

When we meet, I hope you tell me you’ve counted the days. I hope that night changed each of your lives and convinced you to spend every day paying penance for the life you hurt. I hope the aftermath – living with that secret – has propelled you from the boys you were a year ago to men. I hope you’ve done something stunning with your life.

Of course, I hope you approach the police and confess. I’m not going to lie and say that’s not a wish. But, even on my most optimistic days, I can’t see any of you being strong enough to step up and accept the consequences. Nor, can I imagine any of you with enough compassion to want to put us at ease and offer us closure. (If you want to prove me wrong, by all means contact the police at the 52nd Division – http://www.torontopolice.on.ca/d52/).

At the very least, let this monumental, awful thing that rocked our world rock yours too. Don’t be so callous and immature not to realize the gravity of what happened that night. You stole the life we were planning on. Let that change you. Become better. Make it up to the world. Instead of letting your actions of that night define you, choose to make it the catalyst for a good life. I hope one day you can look back and say that that night you realized how powerful you were and you chose to invest your life in helping others instead. And, I hope when we meet, you can tell us that we’ve been on your mind too.

(Disclaimer: The views or opinions in this post are solely that of the author.)

If you have a story to share and would like to be a part of the SPEAK OUT! project, please submit your TBI Tale to me at neelyf@aol.com. I will publish as many stories as I can.

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Category:

TBI Tales

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Caregivers SPEAK OUT! . . . . . Kendra Brittain

Caregivers SPEAK OUT! – Kendra Brittain

presented

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Kendra Brittain

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email? (optional)

Sapulpa, Oklahoma, USA brittainhome@yahoo.com

3. What is the brain-injury survivor’s relationship to you? How old was the survivor when he/she had the brain injury? What caused your survivor’s brain injury?

My TBI (traumatic brain injury) survivor is my son. He was about 13 when his injury happened. He was playing football and got hit on both sides of his helmet. This caused a severe concussion. No one knew what was going on at that time. Of course, both the coach and we let him keep playing any sport out of not knowing what happened to him. As a result, his injury did not have time to heal.

4. On what date did you begin care for your brain-injury survivor? Were you the main caregiver? Are you now? How old were you when you began care?

I immediately took him to a seizure-doctor because I suspected his juvenile epilepsy had come back. But, it was very different. Nothing showed up on what was wrong with him until six months later. My son’s concussion was around 2008. I was 37 when his injury occurred. My son is now 18, and he is mostly unable to take care of himself.

5. Were you caring for anyone else at that time (e.g., children, parents, etc.)?

My husband and I were taking care of our daughter in addition to our son.

6. Were you employed at the time of your survivor’s brain injury? If so, were you able to continue working?

No, I wasn’t working. I had been injured at work, which left me disabled. So, I wouldn’t have been able to work anyway. But, I was able to care for my son better.

7. Did you have any help? If so, what kind and for how long?

My husband helped me a lot when he could. Other than that, I didn’t have any help.

8. When did your support of the survivor begin (e.g., immediately – in the hospital; when the survivor returned home; etc.)?

My husband and I helped our son immediately by taking him to the doctor.

9. Was your survivor in a coma? If so, what did you do during that time?

No, my son wasn’t in a coma, but he lost all memory of before the accident and the week of the injury. He can’t remember his childhood at all.

My son did have to do a lot of physical therapy for his back because he developed a syrinx due to the injury. (A syrinx results when cerebrospinal fluid, which normally flows around the spinal cord and brain and transports nutrients and waste products, collects in a small area of the spinal cord and forms a pseudocyst.)

11. What problems or disabilities of your brain-injury survivor required your care, if any?

My son needs constant reminders to do stuff because his memory isn’t very long. He requires reminders to take his medicine. Because his depression was so great, we had to give it to him.

12. How has your life changed since you became a caregiver? Is it better? Is it worse?

My son’s brain injury has made life better because we are closer as a family, and it made us realize what is important in life.

13. What do you miss the most from pre-brain-injury life?

My son loved sports, and we loved to watch him play. But, because of his memory, no one will give him a chance – not even to play basketball, which he is good at and enjoys. He really misses playing too, so he has had to find enjoyment someplace else.

14. What do you enjoy most in post-brain-injury life?

I enjoy our family life and the closeness we have as a family. I would not change it for the world.

15. What do you like least about brain injury?

I dislike all the struggles my son has to go through and the limitations he has that no one can see by looking at him. I also dislike when he has a seizure and I can’t do anything about it.

16. Has anything helped you to accept your survivor’s brain injury?

I’ve been helped by my faith in God’s wisdom and knowing He can heal anyone.

17. Has your survivor’s injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

We are a closer family than ever before.

18. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

No, not really.

19. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

My son got his driver’s license. He’s graduating high school and then heading to college to learn about computers. He will have a job that he went to school for – doing what he wants to do.

20. What advice would you offer other caregivers of brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

Don’t give up – even though your circumstances may look dim. There is hope in life and in God. There is a better plan for your life in the future. God will make something good out of something bad. Also, if you know your child or your survivor and you know that something is not right and you feel that what the doctors say doesn’t make sense, get a second opinion and pursue it. We did that, and my son is ten times better.

Disclaimer: Any views and opinions of the Contributor are purely his/her own.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor.)

As I say after each post: Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

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Category:

Caregivers SPEAK OUT!

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SPEAK OUT! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty Giant Steps will provide a venue for brain-injury survivors and caregivers to shout out their accomplishments of the week.

If you have an Itty-Bitty Giant Step and you would like to share it, just send an email to me at neelyf@aol.com.

If you are on Facebook, you can simply send a Private Message to me. It need only be a sentence or two. I’ll gather the accomplishments and post them with your name on my blog approximately once a week. (If you do not want your last name to be posted, please tell me in your email or Private Message.)

I hope we have millions of Itty-Bitty Giant Steps.

Here are this week’s Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

Gill Evans (caregiver)…Hubby informed me this afternoon that his world is a better place for my being in it. And then, he offered to make me a cup of peppermint tea. Bonus! Unfortunately, he got distracted, and I got black coffee with a peppermint tea bag in it. Ah, well! It’s good that we can laugh, isn’t it?

Lee Staniland (survivor)…Man, oh man! I have been going around and around with Time Warner. The bill was way high, so I called and got it down a lot. Then, when I went to pay the bill, it wasn’t in the system yet. I was told to wait a few days. I did, and the bill still wasn’t in there. So, I bitched and bitched and went through at least three people. I finally got it down some, and I thought it was over. Well, they just called me. The bill was even lower, and I have all kinds of the stations, like HBO and all the good ones. IT PAYS NOT TO GIVE UP!

Linda Wells (survivor)…Exciting news! I will receive this year’s Survivor Honoree Award from the Brain Injury Center (BIC) of Ventura County. This means a lot to me. My dear late husband, Rex, and I are two of the founders of the BIC. It started in a living room with six other people. Rex looked and looked for a place for all of us to fit in. That is how it happened to go from a living room to now – “An Evening of Magical Memories.” I am honored that I have been chosen this year. I intend to continue to educate all. Thank you, BIC!

YOU did it!

Congratulations to all contributors!

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.

As I say after each post:

Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it with your enemies. I don’t care!

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Category:

Itty-Bitty GIANT Step

Tagged with:

SPEAK OUT! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty Giant Steps will provide a venue for brain-injury survivors and caregivers to shout out their accomplishments of the week.

If you have an Itty-Bitty Giant Step and you would like to share it, just send an email to me at neelyf@aol.com.

I hope we have millions of Itty-Bitty Giant Steps.

Here are this week’s Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

Clydeine Adamchick (caregiver for her son)…My son was six when it happened. His brain injury took away most of his ability to learn. But, it left him more creative. He has overcome so much. He graduated high school, and he is writing a book.

Barbara Wilson Asby (survivor)…I had an awesome visit with Dr. O. today! I’m 100% clear for all my driving needs. I will go through testing to start going back for occupational therapy in September. Sooooo, I think I am going to take the plunge. A newer car is coming soon. I shall start looking next week, I think. It might be hard departing ways from my “silver bullet.” (LOL)

Natalie Elliott (survivor)…I went to my counseling appointment.

YOU did it!

Congratulations to all contributors!

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.

As I say after each post:

Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it with your enemies. I don’t care!

Feel free to “Like” my post.

Category:

Itty-Bitty GIANT Step

Tagged with:

SPEAK OUT! Faces of Brain Injury Alicia Theroux Williams

SPEAK OUT! Faces of Brain Injury – Alicia Theroux Williams (caregiver)

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Brain Injury is NOT Discriminating!

I want to introduce myself with a short story about my experience with traumatic brain injury (TBI). Last Christmas was the first Christmas in six years that my husband and I spent together. (He is a firefighter/paramedic. Therefore, he is on duty most holidays.) It was the best Christmas yet. I felt complete and whole. I never imagined that in just a couple of weeks my husband would be in a coma and sadly would not remember this glorious holiday. On the morning of January 6^th, my husband was out running, and he was struck from behind by a cyclist. My husband’s first responders were his friends, since we live in the city that he works in. They (I believe) were the reason that my husband survived. My husband spent fourteen days in a coma, seven days on the medical-surgical floor, and twenty-six days in an acute rehab facility. In a little more than three months, he had three surgeries on his brain, plus many more procedures for other issues. Even though we have just started on this journey, I am thankful to have a support-group to vent to and to get tips from. I feel like I am not in this alone.

Disclaimer: Any views and opinions of the Contributor are purely his/her own.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor.)

As I say after each post: Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it with your enemies. I don’t care!

Feel free to “Like” my post.

Category:

Faces of Brain Injury

Tagged with:

Caregivers SPEAK OUT! . . . . . Lisabeth Mackall

Caregivers SPEAK OUT! – Lisabeth Mackall

presented

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Lisabeth Mackall

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email? (optional)

Cottage Grove, Minnesota, USA info@lisabethmackall.com

3. What is the brain-injury survivor’s relationship to you? How old was the survivor when he/she had the brain injury? What caused your survivor’s brain injury?

My husband, Frank, was 39 when he had his car crash and suffered his TBI. He was a police officer responding to a call for assistance for another officer, and he lost control of his car on black ice and crashed.

4. On what date did you begin care for your brain-injury survivor? Were you the main caregiver? Are you now? How old were you when you began care?

Frank’s accident was on January 2, 2012. I brought him home on March 27, 84 days after he went to the hospital. He required 24-hour supervision due to his cognition and safety needs. They suggested to take him to a rehab center, but I decided that it was time for him to come home.

5. Were you caring for anyone else at that time (e.g., children, parents, etc.)?

At that time, we had three children – ages 6, 9, and 15. We now have a fourth child – my husband’s half-brother’s child whom we took custody of one and a half years ago.

6. Were you employed at the time of your survivor’s brain injury? If so, were you able to continue working?

I was employed full-time. I was working as Rehab Director for nine buildings here in Minnesota. I worked the shift opposite to Frank’s, so we had very little time together. When he was allowed to come home from the hospital, I quit my job. I attempted to go back about a year after he was injured and had to quit. I just recently (November) went back to work full-time, but we had to hire a nanny for the morning to help get the kids to school after I leave for work.

7. Did you have any help? If so, what kind and for how long?

I had no help with Frank, although my mom did move in with us immediately after the crash and stayed for four months. We did not allow caregivers into the house since Frank was a police officer – we had family and friend support.

8. When did your support of the survivor begin (e.g., immediately – in the hospital; when the survivor returned home; etc.)?

Our support started the minute Frank was injured and continued for about two years. If we needed help now, we could call on law enforcement, but it is not in my nature to ask for help.

9. Was your survivor in a coma? If so, what did you do during that time?

Frank was in a true coma (minimally responsive) for about two weeks. He started to respond with a thumbs-up sign and by fighting against his restraint. He continued to improve from there. I spent that time talking with Frank, and talking with the cops and visitors as well. We were usually swamped with visitors, so I did not get a lot of time without people there. But, when I did speak with Frank, I told him over and over what had happened and that he was safe.

Frank was in the hospital for 84 days. Once he left the medical unit and went to rehab, he was in for the full time until he was discharged. He then started outpatient rehab three times a week. That continued for a month. Frank had all three disciplines, although he was eventually weaned off occupational therapy. He continued to have physical therapy and speech therapy on and off for a long time. Right now, Frank can still go back to speech therapy if he wants, but he is taking a break. I would attend some of his sessions, but I tried to stay out of the speech therapy sessions. (They were too hard for me to watch, since I am a speech therapist, and I knew Frank thought the sessions were irritating.)

Lisabeth and Frank

11. What problems or disabilities of your brain-injury survivor required your care, if any?

Frank has a hard time learning new things about technology. He has a problem with short-term memory. He also has a very short fuse, so kids arguing or chaos in the house is very difficult for him. We do finances together. Otherwise, he manages his own schedule about 75% of the time. I manage most of the other aspects of the house and the kids, with help from Frank if I leave lists and tasks.

12. How has your life changed since you became a caregiver? Is it better? Is it worse?

Life is different. I have to work very hard to be a wife and not a caregiver. Caregiving is easier and not sad. When I step into the wife role on some days, it is heartbreaking to know what we have lost.

13. What do you miss the most from pre-brain-injury life?

I miss having a highly intelligent partner in life who would debate with me and who is solid in his understanding of the world around him.

14. What do you enjoy most in post-brain-injury life?

Frank and I have more time together. Our family is more important now that we know how precious life is and how fast it can change.

15. What do you like least about brain injury?

I dislike Frank’s irritability and his lack of trust in the decisions that are made.

16. Has anything helped you to accept your survivor’s brain injury?

Being a speech therapist has given me a huge advantage with this recovery, although sometimes I wish I didn’t know so much.

17. Has your survivor’s injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

Frank’s brain injury has changed many things. In fact, we are moving. Our wood floors bother him when the dog walks across it. Frank also needs to have more space for himself, so we are trying to find a bigger house for all of us.

18. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

We have very little social life at this point. Most of our friends from before the accident have drifted away. The people we are closest with are those we met after the crash. We have busy kid schedules, and with Frank’s fatigue, it is often just easier to hang out at home.

19. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

We have a child with behavior struggles. That doesn’t mix well with a TBI. Puberty and life-changes are going to be challenging. My goal is to hold our family together by thinking ahead, finding the right space for all of us, and consciously talking about the problems that we have together as a family.

20. What advice would you offer other caregivers of brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

We are all in the same ocean, but in separate sinking ships. We can help one another stay afloat if we ask for help. I truly feel that trying to navigate this world without help is too hard. Even knowing what I know about brain injuries as a professional, I was in no way prepared to deal with things that I live through each day. No one is. We all just have to find a way to make the best decisions we can for ourselves and for our loved ones. That doesn’t mean that we all stay together as a family – sometimes families break apart. That is the devastating part of this journey. A brain injury can destroy a family. Sometimes there is no choice but to separate a survivor from the family due to the injury. Being a therapist, my goal is to help people navigate the world as best as they can and to hopefully keep the family together.

Learn more about Lisabeth Mackall:

On the Air: Brain Injury Radio “Another Fork in the Road” with Lisabeth Mackall, Caregiver, Therapist, Author

Lisabeth Mackall Website

27 Miles: The Tank’s Journey Home

Disclaimer: Any views and opinions of the Contributor are purely his/her own.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor.)

As I say after each post: Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it with your enemies. I don’t care!

Feel free to “Like” my post

Category:

Caregivers SPEAK OUT!

Tagged with:

SPEAK OUT! Faces of Brain Injury Brazyl Ward

SPEAK OUT! Faces of Brain Injury – Brazyl Ward

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

Brain Injury is NOT Discriminating!

(submitted by Brazyl’s mother and caregiver, Tiffany Ward)

Hello everyone! I want to share with you the story of my daughter, Brazyl, who is a traumatic brain injury (TBI) survivor. Brazyl was struck by a hit-and-run driver on Halloween night 2013, while we were crossing the street after a Trick-or-Treat event at our nearby church. The driver was going 100 mph. He was never caught. Brazyl was in a coma for two months. She had to have a piece of her skull removed to save her life. Almost two years later, Brazyl is still fighting and still healing. I had to quit my job to take care of my six-year-old fulltime. I was fighting my own depression, anxiety, and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) due to witnessing my daughter being hit. I decided to write a book about our family’s struggle and testimony. Brazyl was only given a 10% chance of survival, but she fought hard and made it! I’m so proud of my baby girl!

To learn more about Brazyl and her family, go to Tiffany Ward’s website, Tragedy to Testimony: A Family’s Fight to Cope. This is also the title of the book Tiffany wrote to tell Brazyl’s story.

Disclaimer: Any views and opinions of the Contributor are purely his/her own.

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

(Photos compliments of contributor.)

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Category:

Faces of Brain Injury

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SPEAK OUT! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

SPEAK OUT! Itty-Bitty Giant Steps will provide a venue for brain-injury survivors and caregivers to shout out their accomplishments of the week.

If you have an Itty-Bitty Giant Step and you would like to share it, just send an email to me at neelyf@aol.com.

I hope we have millions of Itty-Bitty Giant Steps.

Here are this week’s Itty-Bitty GIANT Steps

Robyn Hietala Bilyeu (survivor)…My Itty-Bitty Giant Step: I had a brain tumor removed March 17, 2015. I have been sleeping in our recliner since then because sleeping flat has resulted in severe head-pressure. I know my brain is still recovering, but I just wanted to sleep next to my husband again. Last night, I tried our bed. I slept through the night and didn’t have an ounce of pain when I woke up.

Krysta Harris‎ (survivor)…Tonight, I graduated! I didn’t let my accident stop me. I told my family that my TBI counts as my honorary honor-tassel (Haha). My diploma wasn’t given to me – I worked for it! I’m lucky to have graduated with my class. I’m proud to have been able to strut across the field, knowing that I was in a hospital bed almost two years ago. Resilience is a great thing.

Stephen Mayfield, Jr. (survivor)…Hey. I got my garden. I finally finished sowing seeds. Now, let’s see what pops up.

Shelly Travis Owens (caregiver)…My husband and I went to dinner tonight with some friends. It was our first social situation since his TBI – and it went well. The guy is a coworker, so my husband got to catch up on what he’s missing at work, job news, and gossip. He forgot a few names, etc., but no one made a big deal of it, and the conversation went right on. My husband filled them in on his injury and his progress in therapy. I’m very encouraged, and my husband is thrilled. Baby steps.

Diane Rasch (survivor)…I am so excited! I made it through ballet class without any problems two weeks in a row. Tonight, I even twirled across the floor.

YOU did it!

Congratulations to all contributors!

(Clip Art compliments of Bing.

As I say after each post:

Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

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Itty-Bitty GIANT Step

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Caregivers SPEAK OUT! . . . . . Jeannette Davidson-Mayer

Caregivers SPEAK OUT! – Jeannette Davidson-Mayer

presented

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

1. What is your name? (last name optional)

Jeannette Davidson-Mayer

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email? (optional)

New Plymouth, Idaho, USA 2004djmjdm@gmail.com

3. What is the brain-injury survivor’s relationship to you? How old was the survivor when he/she had the brain injury? What caused your survivor’s brain injury?

My husband, DeWayne, has a traumatic brain injury (TBI). He was 38 when it happened. While serving in Iraq, DeWayne survived one Humvee rollover, two close-range IEDs (improvised explosive devices), one helicopter explosion (They were guarding a downed helicopter when the remains were blown-up for disposal), and lastly an IED that went off right under the command seat, where DeWayne was sitting. All this happened in 2005 between May 23^rd and October 3^rd.

4. On what date did you begin care for your brain-injury survivor?

At the end of October 2004, DeWayne was flown to Madigan Air Force Base in Washington State on the advance plane from Iraq. I made a few trips there to see him. He was allowed occasional trips home. By February 2006, DeWayne was home for good. We didn’t know DeWayne had a TBI until mid-2007. We just knew something wasn’t connecting right in his daily mental functions.

Were you the main caregiver?

Yes. Our daughter as well has learned to be a caregiver over the years.

Are you now?

Yes

How old were you when you began care?

5. Were you caring for anyone else at that time (e.g., children, parents, etc.)?

6. Were you employed at the time of your survivor’s brain injury? If so, were you able to continue working?

Yes, I was employed. My employer helped above the call of duty. In mid-October 2014, I did have to quit working because DeWayne’s medical needs had increased. Also, I had gone to one of our smaller companies, which is a 10-minute drive vs. a 5-minute walk. DeWayne couldn’t comprehend this change, which created hardships for our daughter and for DeWayne and me as a couple.

7. Did you have any help? If so, what kind and for how long?

I couldn’t make it without the love and support of our family, friends, and church family. Help is from driving DeWayne to assisting with happenings at home. Most of all, help is providing an ear to listen.

8. When did your support of the survivor begin (e.g., immediately – in the hospital; when the survivor returned home; etc.)?

My quality of care has grown over the years. It took a while because I didn’t know how to ask for help. I was embarrassed to ask, and I didn’t understand how to ask either. I felt that if I couldn’t do it myself, I was failing my family.

9. Was your survivor in a coma? If so, what did you do during that time?

No, but DeWayne was knocked out several times.

10. Did your survivor have rehab?

Yes

If so, what kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient and/or outpatient and occupational, physical, speech, and/or other)?

DeWayne had occupational, physical, speech, and recreational therapies as an outpatient. He also had behavioral health therapy.

How long was the rehab?

Rehab started out three days a week, eight hours a day, for three months at Idaho Elks Rehab. DeWayne was then moved to the Boise VA (Veterans Administration) facility, where he went several days a week. DeWayne still has recreational therapy, physical therapy, and occasionally occupational therapy. And, monthly behavioral health therapy.

Where were you when your survivor was getting therapy?

Idaho Elk’s Rehab, Boise VA Medical Center, Tri-Cities Physical Therapy, St. Luke’s Spinal Care

11. What problems or disabilities of your brain-injury survivor required your care, if any?

DeWayne has many difficulties. He has fixations. He’s easily lost, confused, and disoriented. He tires easily. His short-term memory is a problem. DeWayne doesn’t always understand what is happening around him or what is being said to him. Also we don’t always understand what he is trying to say to us. He suffers from migraines/headaches. He has silent seizures, bi-lateral hearing loss, tremors, and sensitivity to light.

12. How has your life changed since you became a caregiver? Is it better? Is it worse?

I can’t really say if life is better or worse because of the TBI. We are both different from the deployment alone. I am the lucky wife because he came home alive, which is a celebration in itself.

13. What do you miss the most from pre-brain-injury life?

There is a lot I miss (for example, long hiking trips and long conversations). But, the trade-off is worth it.

14. What do you enjoy most in post-brain-injury life?

We have learned to depend on each other completely – as spouses and as a family. We tend to stand up for what we believe in. We hold on tighter. We often show each other how important we are. We travel off-season, which is nice because the crowds are less. Nicer indeed!

15. What do you like least about brain injury?

We never know what to expect from day to day, yet it is also a positive, for we never have a dull moment.

16. Has anything helped you to accept your survivor’s brain injury?

Through many trials and errors, we have finally discovered our saving grace. Our kitchen has become our “Central Command Post.” Our lives center around our kitchen. We were able to set up an atmosphere that can adapt to DeWayne’s ever-changing daily new normal. Post-it Notes and whiteboard markers saved our family.

17. Has your survivor’s injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?

Of course, DeWayne’s TBI has affected home life, relationships, and so on. We have lost.

18. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?

Our social life has been cut. We don’t go out as much. We avoid crowds, noisy situations, and places that make DeWayne uncomfortable. I also have become uneasy about the same things that make DeWayne uneasy.

19. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?

Our plans for the future are to continue to live in joy and love together, to share our lives with our children as they continue to grow, to travel the world in an RV, and to reach out to others to show them that they have the inner strength needed to move forward. (How they move forward is unique to each family.)

20. What advice would you offer other caregivers of brain-injury survivors?

Never give up. Give in from time to time. Let it out – cry or scream. Then look back on what is happening to find ways to make adjustments or to find solutions to the challenges. Know that you are not alone. You yourself, along with your family, have so much to offer.

Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?

Military families are not alone in living with TBIs and/or PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and in being caregivers. We didn’t sign up for this life, but we have it. Now let’s figure out how to keep moving forward, so we can reach higher, dream bigger, and hold on tighter.

To learn more about Jeannette Davidson-Mayer, you can listen to her interview with me on “Another Fork in the Road” on blogtalkradio.com or at R4 Alliance.

Thank you, Jeannette, for taking part in this interview. I hope that your experience will offer some hope, comfort, and inspiration to my readers.

If you would like to be a part of this project, please go to TBI Caregiver Interview Questionnaire for a copy of the questions and the release form.

(Photo compliments of Jeannette.)

Disclaimer: The views or opinions in this post are solely that of the interviewee.

As I say after each post: Please leave a comment by clicking the blue words “Leave a Comment” below this post.

Feel free to follow my blog. Click on “Follow” on the upper right sidebar.

If you like my blog, share it with your friends. It’s easy! Click the “Share” buttons below.

If you don’t like my blog, “Share” it with your enemies. I don’t care! Feel free to “Like” my post.

Category:

Caregivers SPEAK OUT!

Tagged with:

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