TBI – Survivors, Caregivers, Family, and Friends



Miki Mashburn-Bailey

presented by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

072715 Mashburn-Bailey Miki CaregiverA couple of years after my husband’s accident, I bought flowers for myself and gave them to him to “surprise” me with. I told him that I was going to walk out of the room and come back in and that he needed to say, “Surprise!” and hand them to me.

My husband thought I was weird. Pre TBI, I really couldn’t have cared less about the flowers, but my husband lost his knack for surprising me every once in a while with kisses and hugs, knick-knacks and treats, or flowers. I needed him to see that it was important to me.

I went out of the room and came back in. My husband yelled so loud that it scared my son in the other room. He was very sarcastic, and he gave me the flowers without a smile. But, I smiled and told him, “Thank you!” I said that I loved the flowers.8iAEyGerT

I placed the flowers on the table. Every time I knew that my husband would notice, I would deliberately stop, smell them, and smile. He would always say, “You really like those flowers.” I would correct him and say, “I just like that they’re from you.” My husband became convinced that he bought those flowers for me.

Thus began my husband’s new “routine.” He has done things like this ever since. He likes the idea that he can make me smile. He used to all the time before his TBI, but he doesn’t have it in him post TBI. The thought that my husband can do it had to be placed back into his mind.

(Disclaimer: The views or opinions in this post are solely that of the author.)

If you have a story to share and would like to be a part of the SPEAK OUT! project, please submit your TBI Tale to me at neelyf@aol.com. I will publish as many stories as I can.

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(Clip Art compliments of Bing.)

Comments on: "TBI Tales . . . . . . . . . . . . . . “Surprise” by Miki Mashburn-Bailey" (2)

  1. Thank you for sharing this. So often we complain or grieve about what our loved ones don’t do anymore. This demonstrates a lovely way to model getting what we need without blame or self-pity.


    • Pat, I agree. With a little creativity fun things can be done. Sometimes we just have to think out-of-the-box.

      Donna O’Donnell Figurski


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