Surviving Traumatic Brain Injury

Survivors SPEAK OUT! Simon Limbrick

by

Donna O’Donnell Figurski

1. What is your name? (last name optional)
My name is Simon C. Limbrick.

2. Where do you live? (city and/or state and/or country) Email (optional)
I live in Gloucester, UK.

3. On what date did you have your brain injury? At what age?
My brain injury happened in 1980. I was 15 at the time.

4. How did your brain injury occur?
My brain injury occurred when I was crossing a duel carriageway on my bicycle – something I did safely on hundreds of occasions.

5. When did you (or someone) first realize you had a problem?
When I emerged from my coma (See my answer below.)

6. What kind of emergency treatment, if any, did you have?
My CT (computerized tomography) scan revealed a massive left temporal hematoma (The left temporal lobe is associated with understanding language, forming speech, and remembering verbal information); an aneurysm deep in the basal ganglia, which may have affected my coordination; and that I’d broken my neck in three places. The hematoma was operated on straight away at my local hospital, Gloucester Royal. They weren’t equipped to deal with the aneurysm, so, as soon as the first operation was completed, I was put into an ambulance and red-lighted 35 miles to Frenchay Hospital in Bristol. When I emerged from a two-week coma, I found I was paralyzed from the neck down. I also had a tracheotomy tube in my throat.

7. Were you in a coma? If so, how long?
Yes – two weeks

8. Did you do rehab? What kind of rehab (i.e., inpatient or outpatient and occupational and/or physical and/or speech and/or other)? How long were you in rehab?
During my five-month stint at Gloucester Royal, I underwent the full raft of therapies: physio, speech, and occupational.

9. What problems or disabilities, if any, resulted from your brain injury
(e.g., balance, perception, personality, etc.)?
I had to relearn how to use my limbs, how to talk, how to dress myself, and how to walk. Although my right side had “come on line” first, walking was something I found very hard to do. Compounded by balance issues, I had a dropped right foot – a trip hazard in itself. I had leg braces made, but these meant I had to learn to walk with a slightly wider gait, as the inner rods and spurs would meet and cause me to stumble.

It was evident early on that I had fixed and dilated pupils. The right eye recovered some time after, but the left eye remained fixed. As the left eyelid gradually opened, double vision was apparent. This caused me to miss the bowl of the toilet a few times until I re-adjusted! My balance was shocking. Even when given a wheelchair later on, I told my hands to release, but the left was slow to react. As a result, I often got my fingers caught in the spokes. I compensated by learning to push with my right arm and steer and pull with my right leg.

My short-term memory and concentration were atrocious. My personality, mainly shy and introverted, now flourished in the attention I was getting from all quarters. My inhibitions quickly diminished in hospital. My personality grew with this new “gift” of disinhibition. Unfortunately, it was a double-edged sword, as I found I often did not engage my brain before putting my mouth into gear. I caused untold damage to myself and much angst to others countless times because of my lack of social inhibitions. There was nobody else to blame for this.

10. How has your life changed? Is it better? Is it worse?
One never fully recovers from this sort of trauma. We learn to cope with it, or not, in our own ways. Me? I have learned the value of laughter – of being able to laugh at myself. How can we justify laughing at others if we cannot laugh at ourselves? In essence, having others laugh with us instead of at us changes our whole outlook on life. It enables us to put things into perspective.

11. What do you miss the most from your pre-brain-injury life?
I missed my youth and fitness, definitely. I miss my dexterity.

12. What do you enjoy most in your post-brain-injury life?
I enjoy my gratitude … my ability to put things into perspective … laughter … love … and the empathy to communicate with others.

13. What do you like least about your brain injury?
I dislike that, because of my brain injury, I’ve hurt people and I’ve made mistakes.

14. Has anything helped you to accept your brain injury?
Even though I cannot remember the incident, accepting my brain injury was key, but it was an accident.

Of all the cars I could have come into contact with that day, the car I collided with turned out to be driven by my dad’s best mate! Both he and two or three other witnesses attested that I caused the collision by pulling out when I did. I was then able to see things in perspective. I realised that the incident was an accident. I finally stopped blaming myself for the hurt I was causing others.

15. Has your injury affected your home life and relationships and, if so, how?
Of course my life and relationships were affected! My personality changed, which my family and friends … and I … found hard to cope with. Two friends – my closest – stuck by me, no matter what – even when their school exams were on. After I left the sheltered environment of the hospital, the severity of my situation dawned on me. Although I had made and continued to make great strides physically, the fact that I could not control my emotions and aspects of my behaviour continued to cause anger, intense frustration, and distress both in myself and in others. This situation went largely unvented and inevitably led to feelings of hopelessness and depression, which in turn led to thoughts of suicide. I’m ashamed to say that I even got uncomfortably close to seriously considering it a few times.

16. Has your social life been altered or changed and, if so, how?
My pre-accident social life was mainly confined to school, friends, and family. The gift/ curse of disinhibition has its pluses and minuses, as I’ve already mentioned. Learning how best to deploy it takes years, and, even after four decades, I can still get it wrong. However, I am a much more confident and outgoing person compared to my younger self. (Perhaps I would have been anyway. I guess I will never know.)

17. Who is your main caregiver? Do you understand what it takes to be a caregiver?
I am fully independent and have been living on my own for the past 27 years – though I do need help whenever I am faced with filling out a form.

18. What are your plans? What do you expect/hope to be doing ten years from now?
It may seem somewhat pessimistic, but I tend not to make plans. I have a will, of course, and my kids are looked after, but aside from that, I live day to day – not planning too far ahead.

19. Are you able to provide a helpful hint that may have taken you a long time to learn, but which you wished you had known earlier? If so, please state what it is to potentially help other survivors with your specific kind of brain injury.
Never accept a prognosis. If you do that, you’ve lost 50% of the battle straight away.

To illustrate this point, I can remember my mother telling me I had not been expected to survive the first operation – or the second. “If he does,” the doctors told her, “he will be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life and needing 24-hour care.” I promised her she would have me back just like I was before.

Also, my consultant told me that I had 3rd-nerve damage in my left eye. The result is that I have a lazy left eye. I was told that I would never be able to move it and that I would be blind in that eye eventually. I reminded him that I was not supposed to pull out of my coma and that I should not be making the gains I was achieving. Within the first year, I had achieved slight lateral movement in my left eye. Over the years, it became more pronounced. It took a further 37 years to induce a good measure of vertical movement. My left eye is not yet synced with the right, but maybe it will be over time.

The road to recovery is never complete from this sort of trauma and is fraught with many pitfalls. The trick is to never give up. Win as many of the small battles as you can so you tip the advantage in your favour.

20. What advice would you offer to other brain-injury survivors? Do you have any other comments that you would like to add?
a. NEVER ACCEPT A PROGNOSIS. If you do that, you’ve immediately surrendered 50% of your chances of recovery.
b. DO NOT RELY ON ALCOHOL OR DRUGS TO GET YOU THROUGH. You are stronger than you believe you are. Excepting prescribed medications, mood-altering drugs just anchor you to dependence. You will never discover how strong you really are until you face reality and deal with it in the flesh.
c. DON’T BE AFRAID TO CRY. Realising pent up emotions enables you to carry on.
d. BE COMPASSIONATE IN ALL AREAS OF LIFE. You wouldn’t wish on anybody what you’ve been through.
e. ACCEPT THAT LIFE ISN’T FAIR. We need emotions to help us learn. Grow towards the light. Don’t become a weed and strangle those next to you. Treat others as you would want to be treated.
f. LEARN TO FORGIVE YOURSELF – AND OTHERS.
g. REALISE THAT YOU ARE NOT PERFECT.
h. REALISE THAT RESPECT, REAL RESPECT, IS BORN NOT OUT OF FEAR, BUT OUT OF COMPASSION. Compassion is a strength, not a weakness.

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