One of the mediators of a Traumatic-Brain-Injury group to which I belong posed a question to all the members. She asked – What makes YOU happy, deliriously happy, sing-out-loud happy, dance-in-the-rain happy? It’s a question not often asked of us caregivers.
I thought for a second. That’s easy. Then my fingers flew over the keyboard as I typed my answer. But, before I hit the “Send” button, I stopped. I thought again. I let the idea roll around my brain for a few moments and reconsidered the question. What makes YOU happy, deliriously happy, whoop-to-the-moon happy? Was this a trick question?
I knew what would make me over-the-top happy. That would be for my husband, David, to be better – for me to wake up one morning and see him walk and run and drive again, hear him talk without his raspy voice, and never again fear that he will aspirate his food. Yes, that would make me crazy-happy. But, I knew that was not what she meant. I can almost guarantee that every one of us caregivers would have offered a version of the same answer. And, then her question would have become rather boring.
I considered some possibilities. I know many women take solace in going to the salon, to be pampered – a new haircut, a mani/pedi, a spa day with massage and facial. But for me, those are chores. In fact, I did do a mani/pedi today, and I couldn’t wait to get out of the salon. I know! Most would think I’m nuts. So, I pondered a while longer. What would make me gloriously happy???? Something just for me! And I knew! I knew from the moment my fingers first hit the keys. (I’m glad I didn’t delete my answer.) Having my book published! That would do it! That would make me deliriously happy, sing-out-loud happy, dance-in-the-rain happy. It would make me whoop-to-the-moon happy. Seeing my book, “Prisoner Without Bars: Conquering Traumatic Brain Injury,” in print on the shelves next to Lee and Bob Woodruff’s “In An Instant,” Su Meck’s “I Forgot To Remember,” Gabriele Gifford and Mark Kelly’s “Gabby,” or Trisha Meile’s “I Am The Central Park Jogger” would make me gloriously, over-the-top happy. I bet you’d hear me whooping all the way to Nova Scotia and all parts in between.
In the meantime, I can be very happy when I finish writing a really good blog post (like this one), and folks stop by to read it, offer comments, and share it with their friends. Yep, that would make me happy too … but not as happy as a book contract.
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Comments on: "TBI Tales: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dancing-in-the-Rain Happy" (8)
loved it
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Thank you, Jean. So glad you stopped by. Feel free to check back for further posts.
All best,
Donna O’Donnell Figurski
https://survivingtraumaticbraininjury.wordpress.com
http://donnaodonnellfigurski.wordpress.com
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So happy to have found you. I saw a post you had put in a TBI wives fb group. I am the caregiver of my TBI Survivor husband. Two years post accident this month. I am sharing your blog posts on his group page for other survivors and caregivers to enjoy. What amazes me about his page? He put this fb page together just one year after our accident. He has been unable to read to this day. He has been left with epilepsy, expressive/receptive aphasia, alexia w/ agraphia amongst a host of a bit of this and that. Feel free to come check out his page and like it. DEB ~
https://www.facebook.com/TraumicBrainInjuryTbi
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Hi Deb,
I do recognize you from our TBI wives fb group. Thanks so much for stopping by my site and passing it on to others. In this way we can make more people aware of TBI.
WOW! TBI leaves its mark in so many and varied ways and it looks like your husband is dealing with more than his share – and thus so are you.
Did you find my Survivor Interview page in your wanderings today? I hope your husband can be a part of this project. Next week I will post a Caregiver Interview page. I hope you will respond to that one.
I’m sorry you are going through this, but glad you are comfortable enough to share some of your story. I will definitely look at your husband’s page. I hope that more of our TBI Wives group will join me in this Interview project. We can make a difference.
All best,
Donna O’Donnell Figurski
https://survivingtraumaticbraininjury.wordpress.com
http://donnaodonnellfigurski.wordpress.com
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Liked the happiness post. Thoughtful look at what makes you happy from a caregiver’s viewpoint.
Best, Jeff
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Thanks Jeff.
It wasn’t an easy question, but it was a thoughtful one. I think it is a question that we all, survivors, caregivers and everyone in between, should occasionally contemplate. It makes us stop and take stock of our existence. It makes us think about what we may have to be happy for in a time when it may be hard to find something.
What would make you over-the-top happy?
All best,
Donna O’Donnell Figurski
https://survivingtraumaticbraininjury.wordpress.com
http://donnaodonnellfigurski.wordpress.com
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I enjoy seeing happy children. I like going to Disney World.
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Martysalo,
Thanks for reading my blog. Disney World is the best for happy, smiling children. Such innocence!
Donna O’Donnell Figurski
survivingtraumaticbraininjury.wordpress.com
donnaodonnellfigurski.wordpress.com
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